Unsent Letters of the Heart

38 - To Fat Shamers

Hello.
I am a poet and I am fat.
Hello.
I am a singer and I am fat.
Hello.
I am a dancer and I am fat.
Hello.
I am an athlete and I am fat.
Hello.
I am a living, breathing human being and my body mass is more than normal so when you divide the kilos into categories I fall into 'overweight.'
Yeah, hello.
I am fat.
Before you begin to tell me that it is not good for my health and I must curb it as soon as I can, let me remind you, I UNDERSTAND.
I understand the precautions I must take and why I must try to get rid of this extra weight.
I understand I must stay in shape and I know that you're concerned and that's okay.
I'm glad.
But now it's time you'd realize that I am trying.
I promise you I am.
But now it's time you'd realize that the worst
sin of my life was NOT being fat.

You stare at me when I walk in to a dance floor
and smirk when you see me buying chocolate
at a departmental store.
You look at me sceptically and mildly shake
your head when I say, truthfully,
that I am great at the ballet.
I whip you up a treat with my phenomenal
cooking skills and you giggle and say
it's so tasty
that if I cook for you too much,
You'll be like me.

No offence.

I swear, it wasn't funny.

Because I've got a big body and a big heart too and just because there's too much adipose tissue under my skin, it doesn't mean I don't fit in and an ex boyfriend lied saying I don't look fat for I'm beautiful, but you know what? I am fat AND I am beautiful because I do not know when those two became antonyms but now it's time somebody pointed it out to you.

To all of you.
I am HAPPY.

I am happy with who I am and I do not have an identity crisis I am not waiting for a fairy godmother to come and make me thinner, I have a family, I have friends, and you know what? You make it hard but I. Love. Myself.

You make it hard but my weighing machine isn't my worst enemy and you make it hard but I do not shed tears each time I look at a mirror, and today I stand here talking to you, alive, happy, with a contently beating heart and I survived your remarks but let me tell you a secret.

You made it very, very hard.

Now, you're done making this hard.
Now you're done making me insecure so I decide not to run that marathon anymore.

Now, you're done reminding me I'm less because I deserve to believe in myself.

Now, you are done, for you made it hard but I love my soul and I know how to smile, I adore this life and you have made it tough, but now when you guffaw each time I'm about to dance or to jump, I'm just going to turn the music on loud, I am going to leap up high and I promise,
I am not too heavy to fly.

Submitted by Himadri Agarwal

Can be seen at: https://www.facebook.com/openlettersthatmatter/