Unsent Letters of the Heart

40 - I Wish I Had the Courage to Tell You to Choose Me

I wanted to see you for one last time before I let go of all the feelings that I have kept in my heart for 20 years, but you refused to see me.

I have loved you for two decades, and you will always have a special place in my heart that no one can replace. These are the words I wanted to say to you in person. I also wanted to show you that behind my strong personality is a woman who regrets the fact that our story will never have a happy ending.

If I could turn back time, I would say all the words that you wanted to hear from me. I should have been more affectionate during the times you held me in your arms. You would always gently caress my face, kiss me, and give me your undivided attention-even when we didn't deserve those stolen moments.

I should have shown you how proud I was that you were able to finish your medical degree. I should have hugged you or kissed you, like when you showed me that tiny stamp with your name on it.

What we had was something that words cannot describe. It's something that only our hearts can fathom. But the truth will never change, that we have missed all the opportunities for us to be together.

I should have gathered all my courage to ask you many years ago to choose between us. Her or me? I should have cried in front of you instead of showing how strong I was as I accepted the reality that you were never going to be mine.

I have made up my mind to let go of you, not because I don't love you, but because I hate the fact that I cannot hate you. I don't want to confuse you anymore.

I don't want you to choose, and most especially, I don't want us to be stuck in the memory of our past. I need to move forward.

We need to move on, even if it means losing the hope that someday, destiny will pave its way for us to be together. No more what ifs. What we need is to know what life is without looking back.

Above all these things, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for making my heart strong again. You may not know this, but I am grateful that you were the light that I prayed for. Thank you for the unsung love.

This is the day that I will put a period on our love story. I'm sorry that you were not able to see my soft side. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to tell the world how much you meant to me. Always remember that you will always have my love and prayers for your success.

I bid my farewell to you, my greatest love. I will always have you in my heart.