Say Goodbye

17.New Year

FILLER CHAPTER.

I HAVE WARNED YOU.

Okay, hello, goodbye and ENJOY!

-Dawnnn.

Ivan's P.O.V

I knocked lightly on her door, trying not to startle her or anything. It was 11:56 at night on December 31st. Which meant it was going to be a new year and I wanted to start fresh with Chrene. I poked my head in first. My eyes roamed the room. In the background I could hear the television on and the news men and women were talking about how many minutes left until it was 2015. (A/N I don't remember what year I wrote this book in, in the recent chapters so correct me if I'm wrong.)

"Two minutes until the New Year!" The commentary lady spoke. Chrene's beeping monitors are also heard throughout the room and since I've gotten used to it, it doesn't bother me much anymore. I quietly walked in and closed the door slowly behind me. Successfully, I walk over to her bed and she is asleep like an angel on New Year's Eve. 

Gee, thanks for thinking about me Ballerina. But I wouldn't blame her, because I also hated my own guts.

Her dark brown hair flew all over the place, sticking up in uncoordinated places. Her face was relaxed with the tiniest bit of fear. One pillow beneath her pretty little head and a white duvet covering her. As the holidays were around, she was wearing a gown with lots of mistletoes' dancing across the white fabric.

I walked over and gently cupped her cheek, afraid that she was in a too fragile of a state. Before anything else happened, the countdown suddenly started.

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

With another hand, I cupped both her cheeks and drew in slowly towards her face.

3.

2.

1.

I painstakingly dove right in and gently laid my lips on hers. In the background I could hear the lady saying multiple shouts of Happy New Year! I suddenly remember the tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach. The feeling of euphoria filling in me, the astonishing and miraculous feeling when I'm always with her.

It was amazing.

God, I was so stupid. Kissing a girl I liked on New Year's when she's sleeping is just plain old sad. But I didn't care if her lips didn't react to mine. All I knew was that I wanted - in fact, needed to see her and feel her again. I withdrew my lips from her lightly tinted pink one and after one long look of her precious face, I walked out.

It was so painful to see her hate me. I knew we would turn out this way. I knew being friends with a girl always doesn't turn out to be always "friendly." I knew we would be something more at one point but I know that both of us didn't want to admit it. Who does? Definitely not me, 'cause look at where we are now.

Back to square one. Maybe even further back.

But I like her and nothings' ever going to change that, right?

Right.

-

So that was my New Year's Eve and my very first few minutes spent in her room. And then there's me, right now. I sit on the hood of my car and watch her figure in her house slowly walk around as the light shows.

God, I missed her petite figure, the way she would laugh, how she always likes to snuggle and sleep with me. I missed everything and here I am: being a sissy.

Technically I'm not being a sissy but you know what that means.

I've been lingering outside her house for a good amount of time. I just can't find the excuse or confidence to knock upon her door. I mean, what would she do? Throw bricks at my face and tell me to scram?

Most definitely.

But what I actually wanted was to work things out. Okay, so maybe if she didn't like me, I would try to erase and delete these feelings (as if it's possible.) But hey, it's worth a try again, right? Gathering myself together, I finally find the courage in me to go up to her mahogany door.

And I knocked.