Chapter 34: Winning

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{Calli}

After overhearing my mom and Nathan's conversation, something stirs inside of me. I haven't been the happiest over the past few months, and that's taken a toll on everyone. Austin and I's relationship has been struggling because of my pain. I roll back to the couch right as my mom makes her way to their room. First she comes over to my side. I act like I'm sleeping, as she leans to kiss my cheek. I can hear her sniffling when she walks away; I wish I could make her feel better. Nathan follows her up to their room shortly after.

The next morning I call Austin and tell him I need to see him. He walks through the door and smiles at me. His smile has changed a lot. When he looks at me, it's not the same. I know he's trying to keep us going strong, but its hurting him in the long run. His mom talked about rescheduling his European tour starting this month, but he is reluctant to leave me. Austin sits on the couch next to me, and takes my hand.

"Why did you need to see me so badly?" He asks.

I sigh. "I wanted to apologize to you."

"Calli you don't need to apologize." He says. "I understand you're hurting, and-"

I cut him off. "But that still is no excuse." I squeeze his hand. "Austin I love you so much, and I hate the way I've been treating you and everyone else. I gave up on myself, so it turned into giving up on everyone around me; and that's not fair."

He smiles at me and leans over to softly kiss me.

"There's more." I whisper. I can feel my tears stinging my eyes. "I want you to go on your tour."

"Calli I cant do that." He whispers. "You know how long I'll be gone."

"I know, nine months." The tears start streaming down my face. "But it's not fair, Austin. I don't want to hold you back from your dream. You haven't been singing, or writing or anything since the accident. I can't keep you from that anymore."

"Calli are you sure you want me to do this?" He asks, staring into my eyes.

"No." I whisper chuckling. "But you need to do it. I'll miss you, but I'll use that as my motivation to get stronger for when you come back." I lean over and press my lips to his. "I will get better for you."

Austin smiles and kisses me again. "I know you will."

Austin spends the rest of the day at my house. He calls his mom after our conversation to set up the tour. She's excited that he's going to continue, and she tells him they'll have to leave tomorrow morning for Miami. The only bad news is the tour isn't going to be nine months anymore. It could actually be up to two or two and a half years. He has to get back to writing and put out another album and doing another North American tour.  

When I say goodbye to Austin it's bittersweet. I don't even bother to hold back my tears as he holds onto me.

"Don't forget about me." I whisper into his shirt. "Two years without you is a long time."

He kisses me long and passionately. "You're the only one. Just remember that, ok?"

I nod my head, tears stinging my cheeks. "You're my one and only."

He stands up to walk away. When he gets to the car door he stops and stares at me. "Get better so we can go on that vacation I told you about. Just you and me, wherever you want to go."

"Greece." I call back to him. "Italy. London. France. Spain. Anywhere with you."

Austin smiles before ducking into the car. As the car pulls away I feel my mom's arms wrap around my shoulders. I let go of the sob I was holding back for Austin.

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