Dance On [Austin Mahone Fan Fiction]

Chapter 18: I Still Love You

[Austin}

I try to follow Calli, but I lose her. I finally catch her walking out the doors to a cab, luggage being loaded. I run to the door to catch her, but I'm stopped by my manager urging me to get ready. The show starts in fifteen minutes. I fight my whole way back to the room. I am practically forced onto the stage to sing. I see Maddi and it takes everything in me not to scream at her.

The whole night is a blur. I don't remember much of what happened after Calli left. I try calling her phone but it goes straight to voicemail. I've called her no less than ten times. I walk around the room pacing. I just want to know where she is.

Dave walks in the room after being gone for a couple hours. "We found the cab she got in. He took her to the airport. I walked around and talked to people that may have seen her." He pauses and I'm terrified for the words that come out next. "She flew back to Texas."

I sink to the floor in shock. I can't believe she actually left. She didn't even say goodbye. I can't hold her in my arms. I can't kiss her goodnight. Her laugh. I can't hear her sweet laugh. The tears finally pour out of me. I don't know what else to do.

"What can we do?" I ask, my voice shaking. "She's not answering her phone."

Dave sits down next to me. "I don't know that we can do anything yet. She'll call you when she's ready. You have to understand that she's been holding in this hurt for months."

"She told me she was fine. That none of this was bugging her. Why would she lie?"

"Calli doesn't want people to feel bad for her. To her it isn't sympathy its pity."

I look up at him wearily. "How do you know that?"

"It's written all over her face. Every time something bad happens she holds in the pain so no one else knows."

I sigh and lean my head against the wall. "I can't believe I didn't know that."

"Don't feel bad, man." He says putting a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure you'll hear from her soon. Just give her some space, and time. Don't try too hard, but let her know you're there for her."

I nod my head and Dave gets up to leave the room.

We're getting to the end of the tour now. There's two weeks left of the tour and I still haven't heard anything from Calli. I stay awake most nights waiting for her to tweet something, just a sign of anything. Every night is the same, nothing.

One night after a performance in Seattle I'm laying in my bed falling asleep. My dream  wanders to the week just before the accident. We were in Arizona, about an hour before show time.

Calli and I are in the dressing room. She's sprawled out across the couch while I'm standing working on choreography. Out of nowhere she breaks the silence and looks at me. "Austin. What scares you the most?"

I laugh at her random question. "Never getting to eat pizza again."

She sits up and gives me a look, before scrunching her eyebrows. "I'm serious. What scares you?"

I sigh and sit next to her. Before answering I take her hand in mine and play with her fingers. I sigh again. "I'm terrified I'll fail."

"Fail what?" She whispers.

"Everyone. I'm afraid I'll disappoint the fans. I'll fail at being who they want me to be." I look in her eyes, and brush her cheek. "I'm scared I'll fail at looking after you and keeping you happy."

Calli leans her head on my chest and wraps an arm around me. "You won't fail to me or anyone else. I am extremely happy. Happier than I've ever been."

I smile and kiss the top of her head. "What are you scared of?"

She sighs and waits a few minutes before answering. "Having to go back and hear from everyone who didn't believe in my dream." Calli looks up at me. "I'm scared to hear that they're right, that I'll never make it as a dancer." She sighs again. "But you know what scares me most?"

I shake my head.

"Not being with you." She whispers. "I can't imagine my life without you now." She slowly leans up, her lips inches from mine. "I love you Austin." Gently she presses her lips to mine.

I wake up trying to shake the dream off. I fight back the tears from seeing her face, but not really touching it. The taste of her lips wasn't really there. None of it was real. Except for her fears. Both of them have now happened.

I pull out my phone again to open my twitter. Everyone found out about Calli leaving the tour pretty much the night it happened. I scroll through my news feed when I see her icon pop up. I smile at the picture.

Its of the two of us a couple weeks before her accident. Dave walked in when Calli and I were sleeping. We had been watching a movie, but ended up falling asleep. I'm spooning her, my stomach pressed against her back. One arm cradled across her waist.

Dave took the picture before waking us up. Outside the room he showed me the picture. I practically forced him to send it to me. I posted it to my Instagram quoting Heart In My Hand. Calli saw the picture and instantly made it her icon on everything.

I can't believe she kept it, after the past couple weeks.

I read' her tweet.  "I still love you. That's a fact. But a million apologies won't bring you back."

  I open a new tweet and begin typing. I keep it short and sweet. I hit send, hoping Calli sees it. Knowing that it's for her.

"I forgive you."