Edge Of Desire

The Thing I believe

Life can be pretty rough when you're having a hangover, especially when morning comes. Waking up in the morning is usually the worst part of the day. My vision gets blurry at the moment when I opened my eyes, the headache starts to stab my head over and over again.

I've lost count on how many times I had crazy nights of drinking, only to wake up feeling like a bag of hot garbage—only to make me forget everything that happened yesterday.

"Oh, you've waken up already?"
I stare at the skinny guy in front of me, still trying to regain my consciousness. It takes a minute to make me realize the person in front of me right now.

"Why are you here?" I ask Kang Seungyoon, my cousin.

He stuffs himself with a whole toast before he throws himself on my bed. He always does things as he's pleased.

"How many bottles did you drink last night actually?"

"Why? Why? Did I do something.... Stupid?"

"You don't need to be drunk for that."
I throw a pillow straight at his face.

"Mino took you home last night." Seungyoon states. I turn my fixed look to him as soon as Mino's name escapes from his lips. "He texted me whether you were still sleeping or not." He continues and hands me his phone.

"He took me home? Alone?"

"He called me last night and asked me to stay in your apartment."

My heartbeat rises up at the moment Seungyoon mentions Mino's name. I don't know how to react, all that I can sense is only a hot feeling under my cheeks.  For a brief second, I let my mind shamelessly wonder about the possibility if one day Mino end up liking me.

Oh yes, your imagination, Kang Seulgi.

Me and Mino will always end up being friends. Yes, close fucking friends. The reality that will always hit me and makes me choke up and hard to breathe when morning comes. I don't even know how I'm supposed to do, neither to smile because he's my dear friend nor cry because that's all we will ever be.

"Anyway, I used your toothbrush."

Normally, I would throw out all the tantrums at him whenever Yoon started making a fuss about his habit—using someone else's personal thing like toothbrush, but this time I'm too dizzy and tired to get mad at him.

"Yeah, just buy me another one."

He laughs. "See? I think you haven't been fully sober yet. Normally, you'd get hell mad."

"Too tired for that."

"For real?" He asks me excitedly, both his eyes narrow in a small shape.

I really want to beat him up just once, however before it happens Seungyoon's expression has turned more serious and once he makes that face or that kind of expression appears—I know he will say something pretty serious.

"Kang Seulgi." My heart is about to jump from its ribcage.

"What else, Seungyoon-ah?"

"I thought you didn't want to meet Mino."

"I did—"

"But?"

I sigh. My heart feels heavy whenever I mention Mino in every sentence I say. "We accidentally met."

"Before you cleaned up your mess?"

"Literally, yes."

Seungyoon blinks his eyes a couple of times. I probably know what is the exact thing that's going on his mind. He knows how much I have dealt with this mess and how much I fucked up myself, literally.