You Are Loved--A Cody Carson Fanfic

Pain

"You stupid bitch!!!", those were my mothers words to me. Just before I stormed off to my room with tears running down my face. You are so stupid. You are such a fuck up. You are worthless.. I said this to myself. Over and over. Slowly starting to slip away from sanity. I turned off my bedroom lights and lied down on my bed, letting the blankets consume me. My wall was covered in band posters. They kept me happy. My eyes spotted one picture in particular tho. It was the picture of me and Set It Off. My favorite band currently. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day I went to warped and met Cody.
*flashback*
My alarm went off telling me it was time to get ready for warped. I checked the time and it was 4:00 am. Yes we woke up that early for warped. And let me just say. It was so worth it. When my friend and I got to the venue. There were already at least twenty people there. We waited many hours. We had gotten the skip the like passes.
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The gates were gonna finally open. I couldn't wait. My main target for that day was a set it off meet and greet. I went as fast as I could to the journeys tent for a wrist band and thank hell I was in time. I got my set it off m&g wrist band. I couldn't believe it. But I still had to wait a few hours. So my friend and I went to go catch some shows and more possible meet and greets.
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The time came around to the meet and greet. We got in line and I was shaking. I spaced out a little bit because the security guard was trying to tell me I'm next. I looked up and there stood the one and only Cody Carson. I couldn't stop smiling. I stood in front of max and Cody. The picture was taken and I quickly asked Cody for a hug. I got it. His arms wrapped around me. This was the second best moment of my life. I had to let go tho. It kinda sucked Because we couldn't talk to them. I was happy for just a moment.
*end flashback*
From that day. I vowed to myself that I would  meet him again. I had my heart set on it.
Reality set back in and I continued to cry. Wishing I could just be taken away from here.
I grabbed my I pod of the dresser and settled back down on the bed. I turned it on and I had Cody set as my lock screen. He wore a stupid but cute grin which made me smile. The time was 12:00 am. Well shit. I guess I'm not going to bed soon. I went to YouTube and typed in You Are Loved by Set It Off. This was one of my favorite songs by SIO. I lied back and relaxed. Soon. Cody's voice filled the room. I quietly sang
I've never felt so broken down, never felt so alone until I hit the ground...
I rubbed my shoulder. Which was covered in scars caused by self harm. do it... A voice said, no I can't. I can't betray him. Just one...
I sighed and walked over to my dresser. On one of the shelves sat a small black book. I turned to a certain page and took a look at it.
All the razors. All the sharp points. All those pain releasers. No I can't.
I picked up one of the sharpest. And set the book down. Chills were sent throughout my body. It was December by this time. Snow stuck to the ground outside and I haven't done this since before warped tour. I pushed the blade into my skin. Wanting this one to be deep.
I began to slide it across. Watching the blood immediately pile up between the crevice of skin. One after another. I couldn't stop. I'm so sorry Cody. I've failed you..
I thought to myself. My leg throbbed. I wiped up the blood and put my blades away. I curled up with my blankets and relaxed my entire body while set it off played. The last thing I remember was Cody singing you are loved.
And with that. I let sleep take over. Dreading to go another day in this world. This isn't how I wanted to end this year. It could be worse right?
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A/N
Hey guys. I hope you like it so far and sorry if my wording stuff sucks but I'm doing my best. It'd be great if I could get some feed back.
Love ya!
~Set1tOff