bouquet ; cth au

new york city

june 14 2015

trigger warning ☹
arielle;

12:39pm
i went to the bar last night, just to see calum with another girl. i was worried about him, then this happened.

i don't know what i did wrong to make him do that.

he told me he never loved me, and i was just a good fuck to him.

i thought it meant something. i thought we were something. this just says i'm too naive to be inlove.

i just met him a year ago, and he saved me—he made me happy, yet i just couldn't do the same.

2:30pm
i went out, and i drove. i drove as far as i could, as swiftly as i could. yet i still came back home trying to find myself.

i took the bottle of vodka calum left, and chugged it down. i wrote a drunk love letter to calum about how much he destroyed me in seconds.

3:07pm
i held into the things i promised i would never hold again.

and i found myself.

i found myself in a gun.

i pulled the trigger, and i shot myself.

i closed my eyes, hoping for the eternal sleep i always wished for.