That Should Be Me (Jemi)

This Isn't Easy

Joe's POV

The taste of her lips against mine seem to spark a charge inside of me, I instantly pull her closer feeling her body pressed against mine, I feel a whimper of satisfaction leave her lips. I can tell she's been waiting for this moment, I can feel that I've been wanting to do this ever since I met up with her in Palm Springs.

Her lips kiss mine back softly asking for entrance, I let our tongues come together wanting more than just to spend another few days with her, but an eternity. I pull out her hair tie with my free hand letting her beautiful waves flow down her back.

I've been kissed before, certainly, on several different occasions, and even with the same person. This kiss, however, has a rare and unique feel, slow and sweet and soft, something special. It's life changing.

She slowly pulls back disappointing me though, I open my eyes and see hers staring back at me. The intensity of the kiss makes us breath hard as we try to regain our surroundings.

" Joe? " She whispers in between breaths laying her head against my chest.

" Yeah? " I ask softly trying to figure out what just happened.

" That really just happened right? I'm not dreaming? " she asks me making me wonder myself.

" I really hope it happened. " I whisper hearing her sigh of relief, I place my arms around her holding her close to me. I've been wanting to do this for so long it seems like.

" Do you still...love her? " She asks me making me a little angry, I know my answer isn't something she wants to hear.

" Yes..but..." I start to say not liking this situation, she then pulls away from me making me sad inside. She takes a few steps back and runs her hands through her hair frustrated.

" But what Joe? " She asks angrily looking hurt, I take the steps in between us but she steps back further away from me breaking my heart.

" But...I want to be with you. " I say not knowing how everything is going to go now.

" You...choose me? " She asks looking hopeful looking back at me, I stare into her pleading eyes knowing that she's more than just a friend. She's someone I feel greatly for.

" No..." I start to say watching her spirit drop, I can see tears forming quickly in her eyes. I hurry and continue with " No Demi, please don't cry. I just really need some time to...think. "

She looks up and anger plays across her features, she sighs and starts to walk off going towards the house.

" Demi! Wait! " I yell wishing she would come back. She stops and turns around with mixed emotions in her eyes. There's tears sliding down her cheeks, yet has a glare directed towards me.

" You can't have both of us Joe. Just realize that. " She says before she turns back around and starts to run. I stare at her watching her leave. I feel terrible inside that it happened like that, why can't things just be easier?

I sit down against the tree that I was by before feeling tears start to come taking over me, I breath hard hating myself. I can't have Demi because she wants to be the only one I love, and I don't know if I can just stop loving Blanda just like that. It's going to take some time to get over her, and I don't know if I want to either. I don't want to hurt either of them, cause I love them both.

I know that I can't have both of them, and I don't want it to be like that, I just wish that I knew who I loved more. Who I would be happier with.

Raindrops start to come down from the sky making me sigh, I get up and get on the road walking back knowing its no use to try to hurry because I'll already be soaked by the time I get there whether I run or not.