Blog Thing

Crushes 2.0!

The word "crush" seems childlike to me. I don't know why but I sometimes hate the word.

Let's just say I have a crush on someone who's dating someone else. Again.

I always end up liking people who are dating someone and it's the saddest thing ever. Just seeing your crush and their girl/boyfriend together being so happy kills you, yet you want the best for them, so you let the sadness overcome you and take you deeper and deeper into your little depressing thoughts. People ask you what's wrong but you can't say. Your crush even asks you and tries to help, but you definitely can't tell them what's going on. Even though they hadn't happened yet, I know it will.

But you want them to know. You want to tell them so badly but you know it would ruin your friendship and that would only make things worse.

I'm a girl who likes a girl, and ends up looking down on herself so much because she likes another girl.

I hate always being laughed at for who I am.

I hate it.

But I still smile. I smile because I know I'm getting better and I know that with people who laugh at me comes people who care.

I smile because I know I have a chance with my crush, even though it's only a 2% chance. That's still something, right?

If my crush suddenly figures out I like them...I can only hope that they don't hate me after.