It has been years since I last saw the idiot.
Although I have always come second in everything we do together, he'll always be my idiot.
Kim Namjoon.
We met in an orphanage where both of our parents left us ever since we are just a little infant. We grew up together and eventually fell in love. We study in the same school, in the same class and do almost everything together. I admit that I feel upset that I'm always behind him, always one step behind him. There was this one day that I'll never forget. The day I blamed myself that I couldn't be better than him, that he is always better than me.
We left the orphanage at 18 years old as written in the rules, we were given some money to survive, so we rented a small apartment and got ourselves part time jobs. One of it is to perform by the streets which happen to be our hobby. Both of us will dance, he will rap while I'll sing. It was our mini concert which we enjoyed. When we were 19 years old, a man came by and took in Namjoon into his company in Seoul as a trainee to become an idol. I was devastated. He could not bring me with him, the man did not want to bring me in. Ever since then, we lost contact. Our relationship? Seeing how we don't communicate with each other anymore, I call it a break up by default.
However.. A part of me is still holding on, remember the last words he said on the day he was forced to leave me alone to pursue his dreams.
"I'm sorry, I hope you'll find it in you to forgive me, but please.. Don't forget... Don't forget this day. Don't forget the pain I have inflicted upon you."
I was confused for a moment, but I understood. He wanted me to always remember him, look for him, go back to him and yell at him like I always do whenever I'm mad. I smiled at that memory, but soon frowned.
What if he doesn't remember me?
I sighed while pushing my hair back. Shaking off unnecessary thoughts, I pushed the door to the idols' waiting room open. More than 10 men stared back at me as I did them. They are none other than EXO.
"Alright guy, who's first?" I asked, preparing to apply makeup on their already beautiful faces. Yes, I am their makeup artist, a new passion I have found after Namjoon left me.
::
I worked fast and quickly proceeded to the eighth person. As I was doing my job, the doors opened and I could hear many footsteps followed by their excited noises. I didn't bother to look at them, because I have a more important task at hand. I finished quickly and continued on the next person.
"Woahhhh.. It's EXO! Hello!" An overly enthusiastic voice greeted my colleagues. A wave of greeting followed right after.
"Ahh, BTS! It's a great pleasure to perform on the same stage as all of you!" Suho greeted back.
But I was frozen and it seems Baekhyun noticed my sudden pause. BTS?
"What's wrong?"
"N-Nothing." I blushed a little in embarrassment and applied the final touches in his face.
Taking the advantage of my long and curly hair, I let it fall around my face, hoping that the leader of BTS wouldn't recognize me.
After all these years.. I'm finally able to meet him..
But I wasn't ready. If I avoid him and ignore his presence, he probably wouldn't notice either.
"Y/N?" His husky voice spoke my name. The voice I longed for. How long has it been? 4 years?
I slowly turned to him and cracked a smile, hoping to trick my watery eyes that I was happy and there was no need for tears.
"Namjoon."
"It really is you.. Your habit to speak a little too loudly never changed!" He chuckled.
"Shut up." I went over and kicked his lower leg lightly, in fear to give him injuries which will affect his performance later on.
"You know each other?" Suho asked, coming closer to me.
"Yes, we are childhood friends. The friend I talked to you about." I replied.
"We used to be lovers-"
"There's no need for him to know about that!" I flushed, hoping the ground will swallow me up.
To be honest, I may have a tiny crush on Suho. If I could move on from Namjoon, I would have already fallen for Suho. We might already be in a relationship too because I heard from the EXO members that their leader has developed feelings towards me too.
"But that's in the past already." He protectively snake an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. "You're not planning on getting her back after you left her alone, are you?"
Namjoon stared at his arm around my waist, where he used to always put his arm around. There was sadness in his eyes, I could see it. In the sea of sadness, there was a little pain. There was no mistaking it. Even his smile faltered. Guilt hit me like a bone crushing wave. I didn't want him to have the wrong idea no matter how much I wanted to move on from him. Seeing him in person, it only made my heart long for him. My body begged to be in his arms again.
"Suho.. Please let me go..." I politely asked and removed his hand. He was shocked, a little hurt too. The members from two famous boy bands watched us quietly, afraid to break the tension between the three of us.
I walked towards Namjoon and wrapped my arms around his neck, breathing in his scent which did not change over the years. The same smell of coffee and soap. I felt his slender arms wrapped around my waist tightly, his face buried in my thick chocolate brown hair.
"I missed you..."
"I'm sorry for leaving you, I really am."
"It's fine, I have long forgiven you."
He removed his face from my hair and looked at me with those loving eyes of his.
"You never forgot about me?"
"Of course I did not! I still need you to pay back for leaving me heartbroken!" I grinned.
::
This. Doesn't. Make. Sense. Lol.
I'm sorry. ;-;
~Jo
PUBLISHED: 11th July 2016
