One Sticky Situation [Spideypool]

Wade, the Bedmate.

haha i can write Steve and Tony's character as well as Joss Wheadon

[which is not very well]
minor edit
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"Only two days before our project is due."

"Don't worry, Petey, it'll be fine. You did all the real work, so I'm sure we'll ace this!"

"But I'm still worried. Aren't we still supposed to be working on it?"

"Relax, babe, it's fine," Wade idly massaged Peter's hand as they watched a bunch of little red gems run eagerly around a baseball diamond. "If we were gems, would we be Garnet?"

"Well, I think we'd be more like... Sugilite," Peter laughed, his worries soothed a bit. Thoughtless banter with Wade was never truly thoughtless, topics ever changing.

"What? How come? I think we'd be kickass, yet lovey-dovey at the same time! Betrayal!"

"Hear me out. Together, our fun loving natures would merge too willingly, resulting in conflicting ideas to continue and stop, which would be painful for both of us. The real Garnet is probably someone like..."

"Your dads?"

"Fuck no! My dad's would probably be something like... Opal! They'd stay fused for combat, but they clash too often. I'm not saying they don't love each other, just... not the most cohesive couple. They need their space at times." Peter remembers doors slamming, yelling down the halls, and days of Tony staying in his lab, whilst Steve breaking endless punching bags. Both of them loved each other and Peter, but they were also stubborn and headstrong.

"Hm. What about... Black Widow and Hawkeye? I'd bet they'd be a kickass fusion. They're like the best of besties, but assassins. Did you know that Black Widow was actually my inspiration to become Deadpool? Well I mean in this universe."

"Hm... I'd feel like they are Garnet, but with extra arms or something, just because it's more useful." Peter yawned out that last part. He looked at the clock, it read 7:30, so it wasn't surprising that he was tired after a long day- especially after what he had woken up to. "Nap? Or bedtime?"

Wade also yawned, agreeing to one. "Bedtime, probably." He lifted Peter up, Peter's legs around his waist and his arms around his neck, looking like a  baby monkey hanging to its mother.

***[that was terrible filler sorry]

Tony woke up from his sleep in a cold sweat, but with Steve sitting right next to him.

"It's okay, Tony. The plane just landed, and we're finally going home. You're safe," Steve smiled softly at his husband, trying to comfort him after one of his many flashbacks as Tony did for him.

A super soldier and a super hero, both riddled with PTSD and anxiety, but always keeping each other grounded. It had been this way for what had felt like forever, but it was around fifteen years, since they had gotten married when Peter was two.

"Don't worry about me, Steve. Worry about the house, worry about Peter. We left a teenager in a mansion by himself with large amounts of money at his own disposal," Tony panted a bit, still a bit woozy.

"Yeah, but he's our teenager. I'd hope that two morally guided superheroes can raise a respectable man. I'm sure he just played videogames the whole time anyways. Nothing to worry about." Steve was extremely worried on the inside.

"You're the morally guided one, "God's Greatest Soldier". Your name is literally "Captain America" for crying out loud! Me? I'm just burnt out party boy who just happens to have some brains."

"I'm not going to deny any of that didn't happen, but you haven't done anything too risky or drank alcohol in seventeen years. You have to give yourself more credit, Tony."

"I'm never going to win, am I?"

Their luggage and taxi were waiting as they both nervously expected a destroyed tower.

As their taxi rolled up, Tony was in a state of relief and disbelief. Steve was just glad they were finally home.

"Well I'm glad the exterior wasn't destroyed. Now it's just time for the inside. Hopefully, Peter's still alive."

The two walked inside the building, Tony inspected everything he walked past, even the floors where he knows there are workers. Steve just followed, trying to block out what the days prior had been.

"I swear. Everything looks fine...," Tony mumbled to himself as they walked up to their family floor. Though, to Tony's dismay, everything was fine. Even the chores were done. What seventeen year old does the dishes?!

"Tony, just relax. Peter's pretty self sufficient. He can handle his own, and he did very well this time. Now, only... where /is/ Peter?"

"Ok, maybe, Dr. Doom kidnapped Peter, and replaced him with a cleaning Doom Bot. That's the only logical explanation. He's even in bed already!" Tony was laughing in disbelief, but Steve was also growing concerned.

"Tony, you go actually check on him, while I put our stuff away. If you need me, just yell." He took their suitcases and strolled them down the long stretch of hallway and to their room. Sorting out clothes, Steve was dubious about anything actually going wrong, but Peter was still his child.  He wasn't very worried until he heard Tony actually yell.

"Peter! What the Fuck!"

That wasn't what Steve was expecting, but he ran to the "rescue" regardless.

"Tony, what's wrong? Is Peter alright?" Before he could hear Tony's answer, he saw his son, like a deer in the headlights, next to a boy, in his room.

"Peter Ben Parker-Stark! What on God's green earth are you doing in bed with this boy?!" Steve's "momma bear" side kicked in as he and his husband stood in the doorway.

Groggily, Wade sat up a bit, behind Peter. "Hi Mr. Stark-Rodgers! Hi Mr. Stark! Your son is lovely." And fell back asleep. As for Peter, he was speechless.

"Hey, 'Lovely', I think it's time you two lovebirds explain yourselves," Tony growled, not wanting to deal with this bullshit.

"D-Dad... it's not what you think!" Peter desperately tried to defend himself against his two fuming parents, but to no avail.

"Peter... We're not angry-" Tony cut him off.

"I'm angry, I don't know about him."

Steve sighed,"As I was saying, we'll give you two a moment to compose yourselves, and then we will punish you both appropriately."

"But Pops-"

"I'll listen to you once your... Bedmate wakes back up again."

"Bedmate? Steve, that just makes it sound worse. Why couldn't you have used something like 'lover' or 'boyfriend' then we can at least make him embarrassed."

"Enough Tony."

"Fine!"

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I'm so sorry for this garbage,,, but anyways, thanks for reading! Be sure to vote and comment. If you liked this, you should check out my new original story "I Hate You a Latte"! I use a lot of the same humor in that story, as I do here. (pssst, it's also going to be gay af)

also what the fuck, this is more popular to the polish crowd,,, 41 votes 😵 they're too good for me

(P S ) PLEASE COMMENT FOR BETA?? I can normally beta my own stuff, but I just need a new close buddy who I can bounce ideas off of, and edit my grammar/spelling. If you're good with that kind of thing, please send me an IM or leave a comment. If y'all want this story to continue, I'm going to need a beta,,,, ;;

(P P S) if that beta can roleplay/write Tony or Steve that'd be even better like I'm dyin here guys