Daydreamer Meaning (Book 3 in the daydreamer trilogy)

Chapter 5

****A special dedication to my number one fan @sockmonkeymania , I hope you all enjoy this little snippet into the mind of the main man himself Regan! This follows on from the moment Izzie left him in anika****

 Chapter 5

 Regan's POV

I couldn't stop her leaving and the look she just gave me had my balls shrinking back up into my stomach so I doubt going after her will do any good, although every fibre in my body is willing me to do just that!

"DICK! your a complete and utter dick Regan!"

Riley is standing an inch from my face screaming at me, I'm not shocked, not even a little, this kid has been against the whole, 'keep it from Izzie and she will be safe' crap from the beginning. He leans back on his heal, he is about an inch taller than me now and although no where near my build I imagine this kid will be able to pack a punch soon, but not now, and I don't want to get into it with some sixteen year old hormonal boy right now. I step side him without retaliating and allow Mika to calm him down, she is the only one who can, anything I will say will probably have him squaring up to me again, and I doubt I will win points with Izzie if a knock the kid down a peg or too. ugh, it's so fucking frustrating, why can't that woman just understand I can't live without her!

She has been taken from me twice now! both times I was sure I would never see her glittering eyes or kiss those plush lips again, it killed me, it killed all of us, she is just so damn stubborn!

Noah stands and walks towards me, he knows everything and has been like a father to all of us, keeping me calm when Izzie was in the coma, he was the only one who convinced me she would come back to me, although I never really believed it until she opened her eyes, he gave me hope, I just wish Izzie could see the man I can see. His firm hand clasps my shoulder.

"She understands your reasoning son, she just doesn't agree with it!"

He sighs as I do shaking his head, I hadn't noticed until now that he had Izzie's book in his hand, I hate that thing! Mainly because I am jealous, jealous that Izzie and Isac share something so special and I can't even get her to look at me like she used to, apart from the mind blowing sex we had the other night, she hadn't even kissed me, I concluded that it only happened because she needed it to, she needed the connection just as much as I did and I wasn't strong enough to decline it even after hearing her doubts about it. Jesus, I basically took advantage of her while she was venerable and hurt, she had just lost her best friend and I was only thinking with my...god I am a dick!

My internal bash to my ego is interrupted by Noah reading from the pages of the book, he can definitely see what is on the pages, giving my ego yet another shot! great even the guy Izzie doesn't trust, get's more of her than me! I watch as his face pools in concentration, he look's intrigued as he closes the book and places it on the bed gently. I small smile playing on his lips, is he going to spit it out or do I have to force it out of him, my glare must sober him, I'm so tense now I can feel the muscles flexing in my arm's, I want to find something that can help, I want to find Mickey so Izzie can have her best friend back and I can work at getting her back, it is all my fault she is pulling away from me, the secrets, the late nights, the link blocking, it has all contributed to her reactions to me, so instead of wallowing in self pity I am going to get my Izzie back, but I just can't put her in harms way, not until I know the extent of the threat.

Noah has called over Riley and Mika, who are both now calm and looking a lot happier, Mika smiles her million dollar smile that always cheers me up when Izzie is not there to do it, she knows how I feel and agrees with it, losing Izzie again affects her as much as it does me, she's getting wiser, but I am thankful to still see young vibrant girl I care for, Izzie and I agree on one thing at the moment and that is protecting her Mika, if anything happened to her it would feel like losing a daughter, I love her as much as I love the twins, and she gained it long before I knew how to be a father. I sit to her right and she places her small gentle hand in mine and squeezes, the small gesture fills my heart with gratitude, she has been keeping me going, her and Izzie always have, and now the twins, I needs to keep going for them too.