NYAG:The Girl He Never Noticed. (Paused)

Chapter 10

I didn't know if I should answer it so I let it ring for a while;I took my phone from the cute mini desk next to my bed and answered.

"Hey Morgan." Caleb said.

"Uh this is Kyla." I said with no emotion in my voice just rage.

"Oh I'm sorry,must have dialed the wrong..."

I didn't even allow him to finish his sentence and I hung up on him.
I'm jealous. I thought he wasn't interested. Kyla he's not yours you don't have to care.

Ugh. I just don't know. I'm kind of sad.... she brings out the insecurity in me. It's like it's her way of attacking me without knowing but I'm way stronger that that.

I decided I'd drown myself in food. It's a win win. I just went downstairs to the fridge took out some snacks and a drink then back up to my room.

It was almost 12 pm. Still home alone. Nobody to call. I went towards my window and looked down. It's not too far from where I am now is it? I sat there swinging for a while, on three occasions I almost fell. I got up,faced the window and looked down again. Maybe this is it huh? I should just end it all right here and right now.

I was leaning forward when all of a sudden I heard my phone beep which made me shudder cause I wasn't expecting noise at this time. I was very scared. I went to look at my text and saw it was from Caleb.

At first,I hesitated to answer but then I wasn't going to allow him to indirectly control me and so I looked up to see blank texts sent and I noticed the time and date.

Oh man!I just realised Christmas was so soon and I haven't gotten any presents for anyone. This means mom and dad would be home soon and the whole family.

I simply replied with an "Ok." Although I knew I'd be left on read.

All these thoughts of so many people going to be around me made me sick. It's not like I didn't want them around I need them but I also need to be alone...See what I'm getting at?

I went back to the window cause I knew he wouldn't reply. I'm always second choice. I just crawl and hide behind the curtains and in a matter of minutes fall into a deep sleep...in fact into a land of comfort,calmness, one where I wasn't second choice...one where I wasn't going to be taken for granted or useless. One where I was loved by me alone. I'm not self absorbed or anything I just love me.

After about what felt like 5 minutes which was actually 10 minutes of sleep,my phone beeped again.

I guess I got a text but all I did was to just change my profile to some silly depression quote,plugged my phone in,put it on silent and fell asleep...on my bed this time.

The Next Day
I woke up to see 5 missed calls from Caleb. And several texts. What was this sudden change? I wasn't going to be bothered cause I knew nothing good would come out of it...but knowing how I was so oblivious to the most obvious things ever. You could stab me right in the front and I'd act like I didn't even see you,Lie to or about me right in my face and I'd act like I didn't notice. That's how oblivious I was. Allowing the imagination in my head to control me,the fantasies all controlling me.

A normal person would have just left him on read I started coming up with foolish ideas of what the text could be.

I was so excited only to meet his text being more blank texts another one apologising for the missed calls.
Probably butt-dialed.

I just sighed. Oh well. You don't always get what you want I suppose.

It's a pity I'm different and I'm going to work my way through this!

I got everyone a Christmas present later that morning and to my entire year batch...I got them the gift of my presence.

Sometimes I feel like I'm bipolar like one time I'm sad and like I don't like myself then the other I'm so in love with myself. Oh well.

Everything was perfect but me.

I was scrolling through my tumblr noticing a lot of depression quotes and it simply clicked to me. This is not me. I am not depressed. I simply think I am but I'm not or am I?

I went to the kitchen to get some mac and cheese and a bag of chips then came out to the living room to meet Stacey out there.

"Hey!" She yelled.

"Hey." I said but I doubt she could hear me since there was a bag of chips in my mouth. That was my snack.

"I missed you!" She said in a suspicious tone.

When ever she said it in this high pitched voice it simply means she wants me to ask about how everything went.

"Tell me all about it!" I said as I sat down in the couch putting the TV on mute.

She told me everything. I doubt she left anything out. I think this certain guy is her boyfriend....time for me to stalk again. Well not necessarily stalking since that's illegal,more like Intense Individual Research.

I had a good laugh today but I kept thinking about why he called 5 times but I wasn't going to let it get to me.

Stacey noticed I wasn't feeling comfortable cause I started playing with the things around me and I do that a lot when I'm bothered.

"What happened when I was gone?" She asked.

"Well Tyra came over for a day and left the day you WERE supposed to be back and I spent the rest of that day alone. Thank you."

"Doing what?"

"Nothing." I said in an almost whisper.

"Don't you lie to me. You slept earlier than usual yesterday,your profile picture explains it all. What did that baboon do now?" She asked in rage.

I narrated to her what happened and how my insecurities started to get at me as if they were her little minions.

"Kyla listen to this,"and she said:
"Don't let your insecurities get to you. I know you're at that stage in life but you've got to be stronger than that. You're my own little baby girl who's stronger than the average baby girl. You're not an average girl who should sit there crying. In times like this laugh,laugh at everything. It's good to cry yes but the tears should only come as a result of your laughter. You're a happy child not a sad one. Even if you think nobody loves you,God does and so do I. Don't jump to conclusion, take it easy and slow,okay?"

"Okay." I shrug. "I'm not going to jump into conclusion. Gonna take it slow. Thank you."

"By the way,how did you know about my profile picture and all that?"

She said without moving but her eyes glued to her phone, "I'm always there for you,if not in person,in spirit. Besides who do you expect to stalk you 24/7?"

"I always knew you were a fan!" And I went to the kitchen with my bowl to clean up.

The rest of the night was cool where we had just little conversation but I kept on thinking about what she said trying to decipher it.

That night,before I slept the last things I said to myself were "Don't jump into conclusions. I'm always there for you."

When I thought of that I run straight to her room and gave her a big hug,no words said because the gesture said it all.

This was just what I needed. This was the binding agent that just stuck the pieces together so they wouldn't fall apart even though it may be temporal.

This was it.

Author's Note:
•I know,I know. Quite a boring chapter. Quite too many emotions though. Wow. Just another regular chapter. Can't wait till the party.

•Also please follow the account on instagram at the top banner. Btw,don't be depressed just know you're loved by yourself,by me and by God.

•Don't forget to vote,comment,fan and share.

•Happy birthday to me!

•Thanks•
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