Chapter sixteen: lucky

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This pic istg ugh making me feel those damn feels ;_; Enjoy reading if you'll recover this pic .xx 

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'I made Jungkook mad. He hasn't been mad at me for a long time. I felt bad immediately, but I just can't seem to apologise.

'This sadness I'm feeling... It's like an addiction. I can't seem to get out of it, even if I'd want to. I want to be what I used to be: a cheerful guy who was madly in love with his husband.

'I still love Jungkookie. I love him so dearly, but not being able to actually see him makes me depressed again. I try to think that at least I can hear his angelic voice. His voice is so soothing, but then I can't see his shining eyes that only look at me; I can't see this perfect addictive smile that made me smile whenever I'd see it.

'That can't happen anymore. I can't see my Jungkookie anymore.'

Jungkook's head dropped on the desk, struggling to keep quiet in his cries. Why is my hyung so stupid? He thought to himself.

Jungkook thought hard on how to help his husband. If Taehyung kept on thinking like this, then he'd definitely fall into depression, and it's not easy to get out when you've already fallen into it.

What should I do? Jungkook nervously strutted around in the big apartment. He made sure to be quiet so the sleeping male wouldn't be woken up. The young male felt like he was going to have a heart attack from anxiety - he was disappointed in himself for not taking good enough care for his husband. 

He thought he was doing a good job at first. He made sure Taehyung would get around safety, making sure he'd get the necessary stuff like learning Braille, getting a new watch, etc. Where did he go wrong?

He sighed. Of course, he thought, his feelings and thoughts. Even Jungkook wouldn't be able to prevent dark thoughts entering his mind, Jungkook did in fact fear the accident would get the best of Taehyung and control his life, and that was exactly what was happening right now.

How could Jungkook help him? What did he need to do in order to help him?

I have to call him in the morning.


The next day on Sunday Jungkook dialled a number in order to help his husband.

"Hello?" greeted the voice.

"Baekhyun hyung," Jungkook whimpered, already close to crying.

"Jungkook-ah? What's the matter?" Baekhyun's voice asked panicking.

"Baekhyun hyung, I don't know what to do," he whispered.

They were silent for a moment, and the only thing that was heard was Jungkook's silent tears and sniffs. "I'm not busy right now so I'll pick you up and we'll talk, all right?" he asked, which made Jungkook happy he wasn't too busy.

"Thank you," he whispered before hanging up and waiting for his husband's elder brother to pick him up. No one knew Taehyung better than his brother.

After about half an hour had passed by the younger male's nerves, someone softly knocked on the door. "Jungkook-ah?" a voice called after entering.

Jungkook immediately jumped up from the door and ran over to the visitor. "Wait, let me notify him that I'll be going out," he mumbled before entering Taehyung's office with a knock. "Hyung, I'm going out for a while," he said, "I'll be home for dinner." Taehyung didn't answer or even react, but he knew he had heard him. "Okay, let's go," he muttered to Baekhyun, and the eldest drove them home to his own house.

As soon as the males entered, two big dogs attacked them both with soft barks and wriggling tales. Jungkook had accidentally let out a small surprised scream; he definitely didn't expect dogs to be in the house.

"Ayo waddup Kookie," a familiar voice called further in, "I knew I recognised your scream." The tall man started chuckling at the embarrassed younger boy.

"Right, you told me you work together," Baekhyun giggled as they made their ways inside the house towards the lounge. 

"Is he the one who called you?" Chanyeol asked curiously.

Baekhyun nodded back. "Yeah."

The elder males offered coffee to the younger and some snacks, which he accepted politely. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit yet," Baekhyun apologised, "I've been pretty busy with work and around here, but I'll try and stop by in a few weeks when it has calmed down," he explained himself.

Jungkook didn't want him to feel bad. He understood he must've been busy; he already had a good solid job, a great boyfriend and flatmate, and even pets. Sometimes things just had to wait, but some urgent things had popped up that Jungkook couldn't leave alone.

"Don't apologise Baekhyun hyung," he smiled, "but I really hope you can talk to him soon. I'm afraid he's already fallen into depression because of the accident." The two older males saw right through his false smile that wasn't able to hide his sadness.

"Has he told you that?" he asked, worry written all over his face. He sure was an overprotective brother. Jungkook remembered in their college years when he finally had won Taehyung over, they spent a lot of times over at his place as he was too embarrassed to bring Taehyung home too much because of his parents – especially his mother who had her hobby of embarrassing her son - so they preferred to be at Taehyung's house. 

Baekhyun was also the typical brother that was way too sneaky for his own good as he kept on coming into the room at the bad times. He had even caught them whilst making love; how embarrassing wasn't that?

So ever sine that incident, Jungkook could barely look into Baekhyun's eyes again, until a couple of weeks later when Baekhyun talked to him privately, saying how he didn't think of Jungkook as a bad person and he shouldn't be embarrassed about it. And ever since he had also walked in on Baekhyun on the most inappropriate times, like watching something way too private on his laptop screen. That would make them quite even, wouldn't it? 

As moments passed by, it wasn't even a big of a deal anymore and they'd only laugh it off. Now, Baekhyun was more of a brother to Jungkook as well. Baekhyun always told them to get married during their school days, which was something Jungkook always loved to hear.

"Jungkook?" Baekhyun waved his hand in front of his face that was lost in his own thoughts.

"Sorry," he mumbled embarrassed, "no, he hasn't told me, but I read what he had been writing himself. He keeps on shutting himself away from me, and he's eating less. I can tell he's lost a lot of weight as well, which worries me. I can only get him to eat if I literally beg him to do so. He's in his office too much, either reading or writing."

"You read his diary of whatever he'd call it?" Baekhyun asked. "Even I wouldn't read Chanyeol's diary."

"Wait, how do you know I have a diary?" Chanyeol interrupted, eyes wide open.

Baekhyun ignored him as he focused on the younger instead. 

"Of course I read it! I saw him crying whilst writing, so I knew he wrote something he wasn't telling me. He can't just keep shutting me out, and of course I'd try to help him. He's my husband after all," Jungkook explained, already lost in his own emotions.

Baekhyun sighed and thought for a minute in silence. "Well, he's always been like that to be honest," he muttered, "he gets so easily influenced with his own thoughts when something bad has happened. It's typical him to get too sad about this and thinks of the worst things," he clarified with a deep sigh. "I'll talk to him." 

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I'll try and update again tomorrow, but then I'll have to start on my oral exam until Wednesday, which is the exam day, but hopefully I'll get to update before then. Please be patient though, and I'll do my best .xx 

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