Standing Alone

Ch. 8 - Drinks

That night, Damon walked me home and that was really the end of my night. And really, ever since that night, life has been a boring blur. School goes by as usual. Nothing spectacular happens. I haven't talked to Damon since. I also haven't talked to Grayson or hung out with Rachel either.

With autumn ending and winter coming up, my mood has been going downhill. I haven't really happy since that Wednesday with Damon. I kind of just haven't felt anything really.

It's November now, the week before Thanksgiving break, or my bad, "Fall Break" since that's what our school insists we call it, as not to offend anyone. Which I never understood.

I just have to do well in school for a few more days and then I have one off. I sigh, this whole school thing is getting old.

Today is probably the coldest day we have experienced this season. Outside of the dull classroom walls is another slightly less dull landscape. Another cloudy day, probably below freezing temperatures. The sky threatens to snow. The in between of fall and winter is definitely the most dull time of year; everything is dead and nothing new comes.

I finish the day after a long eight or so hours.

It is now Thursday, and I have today and tomorrow until I get to breath without being suffocated beneath all my schoolwork. I try my best to concentrate so I can do okay but nothing is working out for me. The board is scribbles, my textbooks are jumbles of letters, and my hand refuses to write. I push through the next two days.

-

I end that week with four B's, three C's, two A's and a broken spirit. Be glad it's not the end of the semester.

I get to my locker to put all my shit in it so I don't need to take it home. As I stand up and close the locker, I see Rachel waving at me as she walks to me. I wave my hand and grin.

"Hey! I could not be happier to be on break right now," I tell her.

"Ugh, same! Well I have some good news for you; Kelsey is having some people over for fun on the first day of break, wanna come?"

"Hell yeah, I need that so bad." Kelsey is one of those girls who is friends with almost everyone who is considered popular. Somehow I also made that list; we have been friends for about three years now. She always has the best parties, always with lots of alchohol. She is most known for her end of summer parties, which she has had for the last two years while her parents are gone.

"Alright, sweet," she says, "I'll pick you up later then?"

"Sounds good," I tell her.

At home, I decide to take a nap because I am very tired. I figure that I will be up late tonight so why not take a nap? I go upstairs take off my backpack, then change from my jeans into tiny little pajama shorts. I close the blinds in my room and fall asleep within minutes.

Usually, I don't dream during naps but I wake up with the horrible image of what I just dreamt. I had just told Damon something, I cant remember what I told him but all I remember was him yelling at me saying how worthless and stupid and weak I was. I ran away from him crying and tried to find Rachel. I got to her house and all the lights were out and no one was home. I went to the park to sit alone but when I got there, Rachel was sitting on Damon and they were kissing. The last thing I remembered was Rachel's icy glare from over Damon's shoulder before I woke up.

That was so wierd, what can that mean? It's not like that can mean anything, right? But you dont just dream something for no reason, you had to have been thinking about something to cause it. I feel so lame doing this but I go on my phone and look up "what does it mean when you dream about your boyfriend cheating on you with your best friend". I start to read some article but I realize how stupid I am being. It was just a dream. I decide to call Damon, just because I feel inclined to.