Brothers

Chapter 09-Tests

[EDITED]

::Jason McCann::

Before ya'll go bitching at me for hurting Justin, hear me out! I love my brother to pieces. I would do anything. I mean ANYTHING. For him. I don't wanna see him hurt or down. I have exactly 3 weeks and 6 days and counting till I'm due. I like to say that I'm due instead of actually saying I'm going to die. I don't want to think about that even though that's the only thing that won't get out of my head. I don't want to die. I'm afraid to die. I don't want to leave Justin alone. I don't want to leave him period but if I am going to leave this world it better be without broken hearts.

What my mom said last night. About uncle Jared. My mom and uncle were so close it was freaky. People thought they were twins. Once uncle Jared got sick. He started acting like an ass and started pushing people away. Well that's what I'm doing with Justin and basically everybody else. I think I know why he pushed people away. So it wouldn't hurt my mother and his family the same. Even though it still hurts them because they have memories with them. But maybe it doesn't hurt them the same. Maybe just a little less. Let's just hope for the sake of Justin it doesn't hurt as bad.

It's gonna hurt them a lot less if they only remember me as a asshole. Right? I sighed and kept throwing the basket ball up and catching it in my arms. Christian and Chaz left. Demi left as well and Justin hasn't been out of his room since this afternoon. I know I was a complete dick to him and I hurt him and I may have gone a little too far and I may have not thought this through but I'm doing this for Justin.

I'm worried. I got off the bed and put the ball down. I headed my way towards the room and softly knocked. "Justin?" I called out. No answer. I opened the door and saw just sitting at the edge of his bed. He looked upset and hurt. Well no shit.

"Justin, you okay?" I asked, walking closer to him. I grabbed onto his shoulder to shake him a bit. He flinched and stood up. He started backing away slowly. That broke my heart. "Justin. I'm sorry." I walked closer and he backed away. My baby brother shouldn't be afraid of me. He should come to me for comfort not run away from me. I hate this. I want Justin.

"L-leave me alone j-Jason." He stuttered out. He had unshed tears in his eyes and their was pain in his eyes. I caused this and I'm not even dead yet. I have to fix this.I need him to forgive me. I promise on my life that i'd never hurt him again. I swear. i see how much pain I cause him and I'm not doing that to him. I don't want him to be in pain. He should never be in pain.

"Justin. Hear me out." I croaked out.

"J-Jason please. L-leave me alone. D-don't hurt me." A tear slipped down his face. I stepped closer trying to wipe at his face but he shook his head and stepped back till his back hit the wall.

"Justin-" I was cut off by a scream. "Justin!" I yelled.

He was holding onto the side of his head and crouching down a bit screaming in pain. I walked over to him and grabbed his shoulder and slowly sat him on the ground. "Jay. What's wrong?" I asked worriedly. He wouldn't stop screaming. I was panicing. What was going on with him? What's wrong with him? 

"Jay please." I hugged him as he still sat there in pain. "What do I do?" I asked.I didn't know what was going on and I was going crazy. Something is wrong with my brother and it's hurting him.

"What's going on?" My mom busted through the door. "I don't know! He-he won't stop screaming ma. I-I'm scared." I admitted. 

"Justin sweetheart. Calm down." My mom sat next to him and started massaging his head trying to help him. Nothing seemed to work because he kept hissing and groaning in pain. 

"Call Dr. Kindheart." My mom ordered. I nodded and marked it right away. Dr. Kindheart is actually my doctor.

***

"So Doc. What's the damage?" My mom asked Dr. Kindheart.

"Well, from what I see, Justin has the start of a brain tumor." He said.

"Doc you must have a mistake. How can he have a brain tumor?" I said looking at my brother who's unconscious. 

"Well son, I'm sorry but he does. He has all the symptoms." He sent me a sympathetic smile. He handed me a paper. 

Brain Tumor Symptoms

Unfortunately, it is very common for brain tumor patients to experience symptoms associated with their tumor(s) and/or treatment(s).

People with brain tumors often suffer from:

Headaches

Seizures

Sensory (touch) and motor (movement control) loss

Deep venous thrombosis (DVT, or blood clot)

Hearing loss

Vision loss

Fatigue

Depression

Behavioral and cognitive (thinking) changes

Endocrine dysfunction (hormone/gland changes)

These symptoms may be associated with the type, size, and/or location of the tumor, as well as the treatments used to manage it. Surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, and other treatments all have the potential to generate new symptoms as they work to reduce the impact of the tumor.

 

This section describes the most common symptoms in people being treated for brain tumors, as well as suggestions for how to manage them.

"Can you run some tests again? He can't have it." I mumbled. He nodded. I put the paper down. He can't have it. he just can't I don't see the symptoms. What just happened to him was something else. He doesn't have a brain tumor.

"Sure can do. I'll call you in about 3 days max. Call me if he shows any symptoms or gets worse." He said. I nodded. I walked over to Justin's bed and ignored the doc and my mom. I sat on the bed by Justin and grabbed on to his hand. 

"I'm sorry Justin. I'm sorry for hurting you. I tried to make it easier for you so when I go you wouldn't hurt as bad. But it hurt me more then you." I mumbled. I know he probably can't hear me. but it's good to get this out of my chest.

I kisses his forehead and walked out of the room. To depressing to be in there. Justin can't have a brain tumor. He just can't.