((Picked apart you rant and I address every, single, statement.))
When I said victim of your lies I meant that every time you said that you loved me you lied. I don't idealize depression, I'm diagnosed with it and on social media I do emulate that only because I truly feel alone and that no one gives a shit about me which is true. I have never publically let my friends know of my bad habits unless they ask. I did write a poem about it on here but none of my friends follow my watt pad. I do have anxiety and that is quite literally the reason it's hard for me to drive and you really had to post something about my anxiety on social media for all your friends to see? Really? I could sure as hell post about ur problems and you know I know of them but am I going to do that? NO. Because I actually still have respect for you even though I'm a "waste of human flesh" as you would say. I do clean up after myself and you sure as hell aren't the one to be criticizing me about that, I've seen your room. Okay, I make biscuits every time I'm at my dads by myself. Inconsiderate? HAH! I've helped you clean your room, I got your mothers car out of the snow, I mowed your lawn, I helped you move out of one house and into another. I'm doing ALOT to combat both my depression and anxiety and anger and my "mommy problems." I'm going to family counseling, doing Dialectical behavioral therapy, seeing a counselor, and working actively with my psychiatrist. I have NEVER said I'd kill myself if you left me. I wanted to kill myself the first time you left me because if you remember, march eighth the day you contacted me, you were telling me how you were writing poetry because of me. YOU were trying to come back into my life, I had been through enough pain and enough problems with my family and sickness at that point and wanted to end it all. I have said I'd cut myself if you left me which I have and did. When I said "you're all I need" that meant that with you by my side life is easier, which it was. With you by my side I was happier, I was more free. It didn't mean "Oh I'm gonna die without you." Our relationship was abusive not by me, but by you. YOU Manipulated ME. You played with my feeling like I was a chess piece. I've stopped texting your friends and your mom and that was wrong of me to do you're right about that. I do want attention you're right. I want some one to give a shit about me instead of me being a burden. But with all the problems I have how can I not be a burden? I want some one to see what I'm going through and despite all the problems still give a damn about me.
I loved you, I couldn't be there for you when kaede was in the hospital because I could only focus on myself and I'm sorry. But that day you gave me that speech about how pressured you were, I knew, I knew deep down you wanted to end it right there. But you couldn't. You couldn't look me in the face and tell me it was over. There isn't any easy way leaving some one you love. I know that. You know that. It's my fault I have such strong feelings for you. It's my fault I let my problems become your problems. BUT I NEVER WANTED /YOU/ to fix them. I wanted you to tell me it was gonna all be okay when you and I both knew it wouldn't be.
GOOD
BYE
