Anguish in Anarchy [jax]

Chapter 3: Broken

VIVIANS POV

Well it's been nearly 3 weeks being home and I forgot just how much I love my family and the club. Everyone has been so caring and supportive. Clay gave me a job helping Jemma with books in the office and the club spotted me some money to get a small place of my own.

It's just a small apartment but it's very nice just to have something of my own

I'm not doing as well I had first thought though... It's hard to be sober and clear minded. On my way home at night I usually hit the bar, on occasion let a guy pick me up.

It's incredibly lonely being by myself without someone else's touch after 7 long years...

When Opie isn't at the club house some of the guys try flirting around with me which I find really cute and gives me a bit I confidence.

I got in my car and drove to Teller-Marrow, I haven't been in two days because well mostly I have been too hungover and I had this random dude staying here...

Opie hasn't called which is weird but I'm sure I will get the scoop when I get to the shop

I smiled at Gemma walking into the office since she was on the phone. Once she hung up she looked at me.

"Where have you been?" She asked in a friendly yet Gemma tone

"Yeah know just hanging around" she shook her head

"Drove by your place yesterday, and I know you don't know anyone who drives a red dodge pickup so baby stay free of the booze and free dick it's not taking you anywhere good believe me" I just hung my head

"You don't get how lonely I am Gemma how strange it feels to just sit in the house alone, to lay in bed and wonder why someone's not holding on to you so you don't run away... Gemma it's more than I can handle" I was nearly in tears so she gave me a hug

"You just gotta fight it Viv I don't want to make your day any worse but the Feds picked up Opie" I just looked up at her looking like give me a break...

"Rico?" She nodded and I stood up and walked myself to the bar in the club house fixing me a glass of vodka

"Do you know it's 10am?" Tig walked in asking as I chugged down some of the drink

"Damn thought it was 8am" he laughed and sat next to me

"How are you doing lately don't get to talk much" he ask

"Mhmm I deal with my shit, it's really hard but I try the best I can for the moment, this Rico shit don't help" he just nodded and Jax walked in and I smiled we had really become good friends again like when we where grown in up

"Where's your ugly face been lately" his greetings made me laugh which was rare for me

"Mmmhm yeah know doing my thing" he gave me that it's some bull shit face

"Well what are your plans tonight?" He popped a beer

"Just the always, hit the bar on the way home and hope to end up at my place" he shook his head in honest remorse

"Well fuck that, you can come to my place and celebrate with everyone else bringing my son home"

"Fine, but what's the deal on Ope?"

"Feds picked him up couldn't make a positive ID so he is coming home this evening, help him out your both in hard spots" I nodded but I didn't know he knew I was in such a hard spot...

"Yeah, I know him and Donna aren't the best either but that's honestly a club this to her" I'm sure he already knew all about it.

I don't really like Donna she dosent really like me so we just share a smile but Ope loves her and I know she does too so that all I'm in concern with.

I poured another glass of vodka and nearly chugged it down hardly noticing I was doing so I say it down and Jax looked at me with sad eyes

"Let me know if you need a ride home, last thing you need is a DUI" he then walked out and I didn't know how to felt but it wasn't good

I felt better now that I'm at a workable drunk if I was to think.... This has been me the last two weeks a workable drunk... Guess I hadn't realized

I was in the office doing papers and juice walked and started talking and it took me a while to comprehend that I needed to listen

"Hey you okay? Viv?" I still just looked at him it was weird

"Fuck... I'm sorry I got none of that juice" I really was drinker than I thought

"Gemma said to go one, closing up early for Abel's home coming" I nodded

"You alright?" I nodded again smiling

"Okay... Be safe" he walked out and I grabbed my keys walking out to my old Dodge Challenger

I got home and laid on the couch waiting to go to the party, I couldn't help have another 2 beers.

The party was going great everyone having a great time, Opie and Donna seemed really happy which was great. I was sitting a few seats over from Jax holding the all adorable Abel... He is precious!

Surprisingly I love babies well when they are babies.

"Hey we are gonna take off, damn you smell like liquor you good? To go home?" I nodded and hugged him then the kids and shared a smile with Donna

A many people left right after and it was mainly just family club members. Jax's phone rang and he answered, his face turned to horror, we all waited for answers.

"Donna's been in an accident!" Most of us jumped up to run out the door I took Abel from Bobby as they ran out on their bikes... Lord let her be okay...

Around half an hour later Clay and Jax shuffled in, I had already put Abel to bed.

"She was killed... Shot in the head..." I wrapped my arms around Jax since he was in the break of tears....

Donna is dead... Murdered... Opie's wife... His kids mother...

Gemma and Clay swiftly left and nearly as soon as the door was shut Jax let his his tears poor into my shoulder...

I didn't let myself crack and poor tears as well I only let a few silent ones leave my eyes, he finally let up and looked at me and smiled

"Thank you" she said cupping my face and kissing my cheek...

"I gotta go take care of Ope..." I hugged him real tight and left to cradle my broken brother...