Anguish in Anarchy [jax]

Chapter 4: BAC

VIVIANS POV

I rode on the back of daddies bike through the huge procession of Donna's funeral... I have managed to hold Opie up the last few days but... He is full of angst and depression and I can't say I don't feel the same.

Life has been stabbing and stabbing me not letting up lately and it's just about more than I can handle. Jax however was not in the procession so I brought his cut from the club in hopes he would show up either way.

We all formed around the whole in the ground as the priest read and torrid to console our grief. I saw a man walking up in the distance and from the long hair I knew it was Jax...

As he approached he laid a flower on the casket as we all had upon coming in. I handed him his cut and he stood next to me at the service finished Jax walked off rather fast and Opie stayed crying, I sat next to him as they lowered her into the ground he squalled and it made my heart break into a million pieces.

"I love you Opie" I whispered as he sobbed

"It's unfair I know Ope but she would not want you weeping over her and being unhappy, she only ever wanted you happy.." He sucked it up real quick

"Your right, it's just hard to yeah know..." I hugged him tighter

"Take some time away with the babies, they need know your still there" he nodded and tired to smile

"I love you sis" I left him and the kids and off to locate Jackson Teller... He was sitting on the stone of JT...

"Where you been?" I asked him

"Just around" I accepted that and he just gave me a weird look

"What?" I asked

"You haven't broken down once since you got here, through your horrible life you just waltz around like nothing is wrong! You don't get angry you don't cry, your sister in law got murdered! Your boyfriend tired to kill you!" As the tears welled I pushed them back

"Yeah I know..." I smiled and walked away, dad was waiting for me.

"I'm gonna hit the cabin sweetheart" I smiled and nodded and we started up

JAXES POV

I was riding over to Viv's house, I haven't heard form here in near 3 days. I have been waiting to see her so I could apologize for being so rude at the yard.... She is a true Winston no doubt they all can disappear off the face of the earth with ease.

Opie took the kids to the coast for a week which was great for them all to get away. Piney hit the cabin and she has been MIA too, I hope she didn't take my asshole insults too personal...

I stopped in her drive where her car sat. I knocked on the door and waited... Nothing

"Vivain! It's Jax!" I yelled and knocked again, she sleeping or something? I dialed her cell and it went straight to voicemail...

I walked around back and lucky enough it was unlocked, I walked in and there was not a sound in the house

"Vivian!" I yelled and no response I check her bed room and bathroom nothing, I went into the back room she used as a living area

"Vivi-" in the living room she laid on her side on the floor tons of bottles and fifths laid empty.... God she's dead... I sprinted to her lifeless body shaking her

"VIVIAN! VIV! Wake up!!" I felt her neck and she had a pulse and her breathing was slow

I wiped out my cell calling 911 and getting an ambulance out, then calling Clay

"Clay! Vivian is hurt, I found her on the floor she's breathing but barely! Get over here please..."

"We are coming hold tight son" I dropped the phone flipping her over on her back, I put my ear to her hear Beat.........beat.............beat it seemed to get slower each time. What if her heart stops before the ambulance gets here!?

I ran to unlock the front door and left it wide open, I placed my hand over her heart and felt every beat

"San Juan EMS!"

"In here!!" 3 men ran in with a stretcher, I jumped out of the way and clay and a few others came in as they took her out of the house

"Jesus... What happened?" Clay asked

"Looks to be alcohol overdose, your lucky you found her, couple more hours and she would not be here, meet us over at Saint Tomas."

We all waited, everyone in a waiting room to hear about here she was all of ours responsibly when Opie left town. We haven't told him since we want him to have a few more good days before life is sour again.

I knew she had been drinking a lot but not this much... Was it what I said? Did she really try to kill herself? I don't think she would be coward like that but she has little happiness in her life right now... A nurse walked in

"Her bac was .24 nearly a deadly level, she is conscious though and we suspect no real damage I can allow 2 family members back at a time and one in her room at a time she wanted dad?" Piney stood up and I followed behind him, out of everyone here in probably the closest friend she has without Ope here.

Through her window you could see her just crying in her bed crying and crying. Piney went in comforting his daughter and she talked and talked through her tears, it was horrible sad to see.... I walked away from the window trying to keep it out of mind. He was in there about 20 minutes before he came out.

"She's sad real sad but she never tried to hurt herself she's upset just needs real comfort and I'm no good at that Jax so help her please."

I walked in with a smile as she had on a sad weeping face...

"How you doing darlin?" She smiled crying again

"I almost left all that behind just to not feel sad... I wasn't on purpose I swear I just got to gone I didn't realize I even was..." I held her hand trying to give comfort the best I could, she stopped crying.

"We know that, all of us should have done a better job of trying to help you out.." She smiled and shook her head

"No don't for y'all one second put this on yourselves it was me okay, this is over I get to go home in a few hours and we can get back to trying for normal and no what you said at the service had no push Jax, the only thing you did was save my life... Thank you" she laid a hand on face then leaned up kissing my cheek..