Fearless In The Eyes Of A Beast // BROCKKI *COMPLETE*

Chapter 48

SUUUUUUURPRISE!!!!!

HAVE SOME TIME OFF BEFORE NEXT EXAM SO UPDATING ALL MY FANFICS😄😄😄

Brie and I were currently heading over to the arena and since she hadn't known I had found Brock or well he had found me and I knew Renee wouldn't just tell her , she didn't find it weird when I decided to bunk with her for the night.

I would physically be at the arena tonight as I had to be but my mind definitely wouldn't be .

Not fully.

I simply didn't feel myself after last night; yes I was the Longest Reigning Diva's Champion and now the new WWE Women's Champion but I didn't have the Beast .

I would be lying if I didn't have regret over last night as I wasn't sure if I wanted a break from him, maybe it had simply been the fact that I was disappointed by him not being there for me when I expected him to be.

I wasn't sure why I expected more from him , he was a beast , he wasn't used to the boyfriend thing after years of being married and I just focused on my needs while he was injured as well.

But the other side of me, the side that I'm pretty sure was the clear minded side believed I did the right thing as we were moving at a rapid pace and I had just broken things off with John two months prior.

I told him I loved him and we hadn't even been dating for more than a few months and in those months we have been on and off several times, but that's not what I was doubting .

I loved the Beast .

That was fact.

Yes , I held my heart on my sleeve but other than John I had never fallen in love before and whether I liked it or not I had fallen in love with John but I soon fell out of it as well.

I realized that John fell for the same thing I did .

We fell for the idea of what we appeared to be on the outside, I mean John was the same person everyone knew while everyone else that knew me well knew I had my moods but of course once I was with John Cena...

I hid myself, as everyone knew him as this perfect man that every woman wanted and that perfect man wanted Nikki Bella.

I was soon top of my game as The Bella's returned and so was he and I guess that's what made us the perfect couple .

Yes everything was great for awhile but Nikki Bella wasn't as perfect as John needed her to be.

The Nikki Bella he thought I was was only the half of it, so I pretended or rather believed I could fit the mould of being alongside the John Cena but slowly realized I couldn't.

I used the excuse of marriage and kids on my family many times as a way of venting in some way but that wasn't the main reason.

Yes those are things I wanted most but I wasn't happy and I saw it as an excuse to quit but who would break up with John Cena?

So I stayed because I cared, cared because my family loved him, cared because the world loved Nena.

I wasn't sure why I did, both of us started to feel the drifting happening after two years of being together.

He was annoyed with me as I was changing and wanting me to be the Nikki Bella he fell in love with while I felt trapped as I was afraid of being alone and I knew he loved me.

So we continued our cycle of fights while we realized opposites didn't attract in our case.

Until one day I just decided I was done.