Love Makes The Heart Beat

Chapter 26: Confused...

We rode along in comfortable silence past my house, I kept sneaking glances at him wanting to make sure this wasn't a dream. Although I was completely angry at him for being so petty, I truly did miss our friendship.

No one knew me better than Zac...sad to say...not even Ethan. I mean don't get me wrong Ethan was a very fast learner and I love him with all my heart, but Zac always knew what I was thinking even before I thought it. He knew what things made me uncomfortable, what I loved and despised.

Zac knew that my peanut butter had to be put on one slice of bread, while my nutella had to be spread on the other, then you could put the sandwich together. Yes! I'm weird like that...it's a crime to smear peanut butter then nutella spread together on one slice of bread and totally neglect the other!

Having Zac know every single thing about me made me feel vulnerable. Vulnerable in the sense that I've never let anyone else but him get that close to me...to my heart.

I was starting to wonder exactly where he planned on taking me when Zac turned off onto the road that led up to the cove. He pulled into one of the spaces along the dirt road that overlooked the deserted beach. It was way too cold for anyone in the right mind to be out there.

We sat in the car just staring out at the view. Each of us probably wondering who would be the first to break the silence.

"Kai, I'm so sorry...for everything...including all the stupid things I did to make you mad...like Hailey for instance." Zac apologized as his head hung low and his gaze fell into his lap. "I can't stand her...but I did it because I knew it made you angry."

I cleared my throat and turned in my seat to face him. I shook my head at him as if to silently tell him that he was forgiven. "I'm sorry for getting so angry at you, Zachy."

Our eyes met and I can't tell you how reassuring it was to look into those minty green eyes that held all my sense of security.

"No Kai, you had every right to be angry. I had no reason to be like that. You were right...you supported me with everything I went through with Shani and never once tried to meddle in my business. I had no right." Zac calmly stated. "I was stupid, you know...for getting so jealous."

" Jealous?" I asked a bit baffled.

"Yea Kai, I was crazy jealous of Ethan...shit...I still am." A small frown tugging at his lips while shaking his head. "I felt like I was being replaced...like you didn't need me anymore."

I wanted to smear the frown lines away. I hated seeing him unhappy and upset.

"Don't you ever think that Zac!" I cried angrily. "No one could ever take your place." My heart hurt at the idea of him thinking I was trying to replace him. I would never do something like that. "I'll always need you." I admitted in a small voice as my eyes began filling with tears as I thought of how much things have changed between us.

Zac reached over and grabbed my hands holding them in his own. A serious look came over his face, it almost seemed as though he was in pain. His eyes glossed over as he gazed at me intently. "I love you Kai."

I smiled brightly at him. "I love you too Zachy." I whispered back, it rolled off my tongue like it normally did.

He shook his head no. A confused expression made its way onto my face as I stared at him. Why was he shaking his head no? Did he not think I loved him? Was he doubting my love for him or did he not want me to love him anymore?

"No Kai, I...love...you." His eyes narrowed and his face contorted in pain, when he repeated himself slowly emphasizing each word as if he were trying to explain something to a child. Zac let out a long sigh as if a huge weight was just lifted off his shoulders.