•we believe that our main god antonio is made out of lettuce
•we believe that antonio and the other gods (felicia, desiree, bob, joseph, etc.) created the world
•we believe the world is secretly made out of lettuce, just like antonio
•we believe the non-vegans are glookenpops (devils)
•we believe that the afterlife for the good is a place called 'moolenshlop'
•we believe the rude ass motherfuckers go to a place called 'bitch field' when they die
•we believe that julian is secretly the ruler of bitch field and is pretending to be a moolenshloper
•we believe the 5 main vegans are caroline, christine, irene, anika, and julian (no one trusts julian though) and they've been sent down to earth by antonio
•we believe that antonio is always watching our deeds in our tea cups
•we believe lopoida (antonio's wife) is really chill and cool
•we believe julian (the ruler of bitch field) has a disney fetish
•we believe that being vegan is a healthy lifestyle
you must believe all of these beliefs to be a true follower of the vegan religion. . if u don't follow these you're guaranteed to go to bitch field with julian and you're going to listen to let it go with him everyday
