My Forever (OLD)

Eight: Conflicted

Madalynne

“Hey, can I check my email?” I asked Parker, referring to using his computer.

“Sure,” he shouted back from the bathroom.

I hopped onto the chair at his desk and wiggled the mouse to pull up his desktop. I smiled lightly to myself at the picture of Parker, his brother Bo, me, and my brother Mason when we were just little ones.

I miss you Bo, I thought to myself before double clicking on the internet link. A page pulled up from the bottom of the screen. Parker must have been checking his email. Just as I was about to close out of it and sign into my own a females name caught my eye. Jacqueline. Who is that? I wondered to myself.

I heard the bathroom door shut and the water turn on. I looked hesitantly at the closed door. Knowing every bit that what I was about to do was wrong.

Knowing that I couldn’t help myself, being able to hear Parker in the shower helped. I scrolled through his inbox, taking a mental note that there were hundreds of emails exchanged with this female. My heart sunk into my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick. I had barely gotten Parker back…and now this threat to our newly defined relationship? I wasn’t sure I could take it.

I clicked on the most recent email, quickly peeking back at the bathroom to make sure he was still showering. My heartbeat was thumping in my ears, but I tried to silence it to listen for the water splashing against the tile. I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing a sigh of relief when I could hear Parker singing off-key.

I clicked my eyes back over to the monitor in front of me. “I miss you,” was all it read. I lost track of how many times my eyes scanned those three words over and over; tears stinging the back of my eyes. It was addressed to Parker. I swallowed deeply; scrolling anxiously down to see what she had written that in response to…

“You should move here. I went bowling with my best friend Dylan yesterday, the weather was perfect. Mid-70’s, not a cloud in the sky. You would love it here. I just kept thinking how much better yesterday would have been if you were there with me…” That was it. I couldn’t take it. My head fell into my hands, and I was sobbing uncontrollably. I wasn’t sure how long I had been sitting there sobbing when I suddenly became aware of the creaking of the door. The creak I knew all too well…followed by footsteps.

“You wanna order a pizza…” Parker came waltzing out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. He trailed off when he saw my face; a look of sheer horror mixed with the most unbearable pain painted across it.

My face twisted in agony. “Who is she?”

He looked like a deer in the headlights. “Maddy,” he began gently.

“Who—is—she?”I barely got out between sobs; my heart breaking with every tear.

“She’s just a friend,” he answered simply.

“Those emails sounded a lot friendlier than that!” I exclaimed, angrily.

“You read my emails?” The accusatory tone his voice took on pierced through me. He was right. I had forgotten that I had only found out about her because I overstepped my boundaries. I wasn’t sure if I should be angry or sad; feel guilty or wrong.

“You know what? I think I should go.” I stood up from the computer, grabbing my backpack and throwing it over my shoulder.

“Let me explain,” Parker grabbed me by the arm; stopping me from taking another step forward.