SpideyPool It's a Deep Type of Love

Tears of Hallucinations

Wade's P.O.V
"Petey!!! Petey??!!... SHIT!!!" I threw my phone against the floor and slide down against the wall and my phone and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

"Everything alright babe??" She asked as she came out with a worried look on her face. I looked at her and through my tear glazed eyes I saw Peter. Peter.. I nodded and looked away biting my finger trying to hold in my tears.
"Oh.. Ok.. Well I'll be inside if you need me ok?" I nodded again still looking away as she went inside.

'I'm so sorry sweetie. I know you didn't want this to happen.'

'Yeah I'm sorry too man. You've got so much depression in you now  I'm starting to feel it... And... It doesn't feel good man.'

'Tell me about!' I say in my head as I hit my head against the wall.

"Babe I brought you some leftover Mexican food to make you feel better. I know it's your favorite." I tried to restrain looking from her but I couldn't stop myself. I look up and see Peter again. He looks a little blurry. But also almost dead looking and pale. He is too thin. I smile weakly and start to cry more as I pull her down and squeeze her tightly.

"I'm so sorry!!" I'm loosing myself even more.

"Babe.. It's fine... You didn't do anything."
I look to her again and a flashback from Peter and I's first date flashes through my head. His smile, his eyes, his hair, his body, I miss all of that. I miss the apartment. I miss the way Peter would dress. I miss the way he would look so cute when he was tired. I miss his smell. I miss him...... I miss us.....

Tell me again why I signed up for this god damn mission?

She reminds me a lot of death. I personally know death. Being a mercenary that has depression and kills himself and gets himself killed, you get to know death very well. I never stay long though. Thanks to my regeneration. She has the same dark eyes and hair as her. Same body frame too.
"Babe?? I'm starting to get really worried. Do you wanna come inside and talk about whatever is wrong? I'm here to help."
"I'm fine. I just need some time alone ok?" I say as I caress her cheek still seeing Peter. 
"Ok." She kissed my cheek and went inside. Her kisses weren't the same as peters. His where soft but a little rough with the stubble he was starting to grow. Her's where a little too soft and fragile. Peter's kisses made a stone cold mercenary like me melt into a pool of affection. Her's made me miss those kisses from Peter.
Don't get me wrong she is a wonderful girl. She just isn't the one. I don't deserve her. After how nice she's been. I don't even deserve Peter. After leaving the love of my life alone for two fucking months.

I don't deserve anything.

'What are you gonna do?'

'Yeah man. I'm not digging this extra depression roaming around in here.'

"I don't know." I whispered quietly as I stood up and looked out onto the balcony.

'Well we only have 36 hours Wade. And we do want to go back right?.'

'Yeah we are going back right?...'