Floating on a Tidal Wave - Frerard One-Shots

Where is it!?

Trigger Warning (also short)

Gerard's P.O.V.

"No, why . . . would you say that about me?" I asked as Frank stood in front of me looking shocked at his own words. He stood there like it was nothing after finishing calling me pathetic and annoying because I told him one of our fans had called me fat.

"I-I didn't mean . . ." He stopped, and I felt then like a ton of bricks, I felt the sudden urge to physically damage every part of myself. I scratched deeply in my arm a couple of times but it wasn't enough.

"No gee, I'm sorry. Please don't do that, you'll hurt-" I cut him off by slamming my fist against the wall. He flinched and I yelled out, needing a release.

"Gerard! You can't do it again. I threw them away!" He yelled and I immediately stopped moving.
       I turned to look at him, shooting him a harsh glare. I ran up to him and grabbed by the throat, holding him in place instead of squeezing.

"You wouldn't." My tone was memacing but all he did was shake his head.

"I would. I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore." He whispered and I laughed as I dropped him, I assumed I looked like a fucking maniac for how much I was laughing. My hands went to grip my hair tightly, my head starting to swim and become distorted.

I ran into the bathroom and searched frantically, breathing heavily while doing so, everything slowing down.

"Where are they frankie?" I sung, slamming my arm into the door he came in and he tried to grab and hug me but I peeled myself away from him.

"Where?" I asked, my vision was spotting making me dizzy with anger.

"Not here." He stated and I growled between my teeth.

"Who the hell gave you the right to do that!?" I asked, shutting my eyes to try and calm myself.

"I care about you. You don't need to do this anymore." He said and that made my blood boil.

"Like hell you do! You don't get to decide what I can and can't fucking do." I screamed at him and he recoiled slightly.

"Give them to me, Frank."

"Like I said, theyre not here."

"Fine . . . I'll just have to find another way." I said as  my anger slowly began to dissipate and I felt myself become curious as I glanced at the mirror.

"Gerard don't." He said, his hand stretched out to me. But before he managed to get a hold of me, I smashed my fist against it, making a sickening crunch under my kmuckles but unfortunately, it wasn't fully broken. So I kept punching at it, my fists stinging and I almost fucking moaned at the stinging sensation. I felt my eyes water at feeling of it though and seeing blood on the mirror, or what was left of it made me want to sob.

"STOP IT GERARD!" I heard Ray yell behind Mikey, Frank must've came and gotten them.

Once I saw the fallen shards in the sink, I picked up the sharpest one and twiddled it in between my fingers. I nipped it on the tip of my fingers, emmitting a hiss from my lips.

"C'mon Frank. Don't be so sad. I'm doing everyone a fucking favor." I started to drag straight down, and  I noticed him start to sob. But I didn't care.

No one cared

Not Ray, Nor Mikey.

Not even Frankie, whom I secretly loved since the beginning.

I could feel my arm, and it felt as if it were on fire and the people around me was struggling to get me to stop. Something was screaming at me, overruling my every thought and movement.

Kill yourself.

Faggot.

You'll never be loved

You'll die alone

Rot in hell

Ugly

Fat

Worthless

Dumb

Unloved

Waste of space

A burden.

"Gerard, please stop you're hurting me." I heard a soft voice say and that snapped me out of my trance, my arm throbbing painfully, blood all over my hands and his shirt.

I immediately dropped the glass and turned numb. I didn't even start crying. I just stood there with an emotionless look on my face and Frank let out a strangled sob.

"Why would you do that to yourself!?"
He yelled at me and pulled me in a hug.

"I don't know anymore." I said. My voice sounded like a robot, cold and bleak.

"But I care about you. You have to tell me why." He whispered, pulling away and my face lit up.

He's lying.

He doesn't care about yo-

"Shut up!" I yelled before anymore could be said, hitting my head in the process. Frank looked confused but then his face turned into a knowing expression.

"Gerard. I don't care if you don't feel the same way but I have to let this out . . . I-I think I'm in love with you. Ever since that kiss on stage, I didn't know I had such strong feelings for you. And I'm worried you're spiraling." He sighed and I smiled sadly

"I'm sorry you have to put up with this." I said right before my vision got blurry and I felt myself lose feeling in every part of my body, engulfing my entire vision in blackness.

~~~