Just Another Rockstar (Oli Sykes love story)

Lies, Lies, And More Lies~

~Chapter18~

**WARNING. MIGHT BE TRIGGERING.**

I looked at this picture and started to cry...hard.

It was a picture of Oli and some girl making out..

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I screamed.

I slammed the laptop shut, sat in the corner, and cried for God knows how long.

Where did I go wrong?

Did I not give him enough love?

I knew something was going to happen.

I stood up, grabbed my jewelry case, opened up the Velcro on the inside and found my nice, clean blade.

"It's been a little while my friend."

I rolled up my sleeve and glided the blade across my arm so it would be nice and deep.

Oh God it felt so nice.

I haven't cut in a few weeks.

I saw the blood running down my arm and I cut more and more.

I eventually ended up with 10 cuts on my arm.

I felt the hot tears running down my face.

I got my phone and texted Oli.

'Don't talk to me ever again you filthy bastard. I never want to see you or be in your presence ever again. I'm leaving your apartment and I'll find somewhere else to live. Have a nice life, asshole.'

Send.

I sobbed even harder.

I just can't deal with this pain anymore.

I've had enough.

Maybe I should just end it.

Should I?

I mean Oli is the only person I care about in this world, and he obviously doesn't feel the same way.

So, what's the point?

So many questions running through my head right now.

I screamed a little more and looked at my face in the mirror.

"I understand now. I'm fucking ugly. That's why he kissed her. I'm not good enough for him and I should've realized that from the start." I mumbled to myself.

I immediately went to the toilet and made myself throw up.

I don't deserve to have food in my stomach.

I purged & purged.

As I lay on the floor with no strength it seems, Oli is probably having the time of his life.

I was getting tired and slowly closed my eyes.

I felt myself going to a nice, long sleep.

Just before I went into that trance, I heard Oli's ringtone.

And that was it.

I was asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

;-;

This is sad guise..

I almost cried writing this.

Sorry if this triggered anyone

But, for those who are self-harming, I know it's hard. It's addicting...trust me, I know.

Just please at least try to stop.

If you are thinking about suicide, it's not the answer. It really isn't.

It's not the only way out.

You are worth something. You mean the world to someone. And I so happen to be that person, all of you guys are amazing. And I would hate to lose you. I just love you all so much. Please don't leave. It wouldn't be the same without you.

Anyways, I love you guys and hope you liked.

Please be sure to comment, fan, and vote. Also follow me. It helps me more than you can imagine!:3

Love you all.

Baiiii.

~Amber XD