The Bold & The Beautiful Fanfiction Challenge

Themed Story 5- 'EFFORT'

This story is set back when poor old Aly was still alive. RIP Aly. Also, the story is pretty sad and intense. I haven't yet edited the story so just bear with me :) Thanks! Comment and vote if you like! :)

Note: This part of the story is in Aly's POV

I lay silently on my bed, on top of the covers. It was freezing cold but I didn't have the momentum to slide into my warm, welcoming blankets. In a way, I liked how the cold air was eating away at me and I secretly wished it would numb me altogether. It was nights like this when the pain felt all too real.

A single tear slipped down my cheek as I remembered hearing Grandpa telling Dad that I was going crazy. I had just walked into the office and was standing in front of the door. Grandpa hadn't noticed that I entered. That was when he said the words, I honestly felt as if my body was just going to shut down completely. Bitter tears began to well up under my eyes and I silently left the room. The situation played over and over in my mind.

"Am I crazy?" I asked myself, aggressively biting my lip to stop myself from crying. It was a question I already knew the answer to. Yes. I was crazy. I told myself that wasn't true and I was perfectly normal but I knew I was lying to myself. I sat up, half expecting my thoughts to dissolve as I did so. Of course they didn't- everything was against me. Even myself.

"Maybe I need to take a walk to clear my mind," I told myself. I carefully got up, not making a sound. I quickly changed into some black skinny jeans, a blue sweatshirt and some matching blue sneakers before sneaking out of the house.

As soon as I walked outside, I felt the wind trying to push me back inside. Almost warning me that I should stay inside. I slowly closed the door behind me and sprinted down the street. I wanted to get as far away from here as I could.

***

The more I kept walking, the more pointless my life seemed. You're inconvenient. My mind told me. Sometimes I felt like me and my mind were two completely different people.

"No I'm not," I muttered violently through my teeth, hoping to scare off my thoughts. You're crazy. She reminded me causing me to release a frustrated breath. Of course I was crazy- I was arguing with my own head. "Okay! Would you just leave me alone?!" I shouted, more tears escaping my eyes. My voice echoed in the silence. I began to envy how silent the world seemed- why couldn't my mind be like that? For a couple minutes my head actually listened to me and didn't make a sound.

My legs were starting to ache so I sat down on the curb. The street was semi-busy and covered in shadows, with the occasional headlights flashing past. I felt a tinge of peace as I watched the cars drive between the dim street lights. It could all be over in less than a minute. My mindless thoughts had returned. The comment puzzled me.

"What could be over?" I mumbled anxiously. Your life. A shiver traveled slowly down my spine. I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the suicidal thoughts, but the more I disregarded them the louder they became. Jump in front of a car. As I lingered on the thought it began to make sense. My life wasn't valued by anyone- especially not my family.

I forced myself to my feet, trying not to pay attention to my doubts. I'd made up my mind. I took out my phone; it was only 2:14. I convinced myself to write a goodbye letter to the people I cared about.

Subject: IMPORTANT- Please Read

To: Dad, Pam, Charlie, Oliver, Ivy, Liam, Hope