Serendipity

Chapter 22

The real estate agent and I looked tirelessly for two months, but nothing feels right.

Nothing is home.

I can't think straight when I go to look into houses.

When I first met the lady, she was bubbly and sweet, and one of the first things she said to me was, "You know, good for you for deciding to get a home now. Some people wait until they're married to buy a house. I'll never understand that. Most people insist on an apartment, because they want their first home to be with their significant other, so good for you for doing this."

And every time I walk into a house, I can't see myself living there.

I can't see myself living in this big empty space alone.

I even tried small 100,000 dollar houses with one bedroom and one bathroom.

I tried apartments, lofts, condos, townhomes, duplexes.

Nothing works.

Nothing I just, it's not it.

So, I just decided to settle for a huge house.

I tell myself I'm content with being alone.

My family is a mess.

It's been three months since I've been gone, and investigators gave up the case and it went cold.

I stay hidden fairly well, and I pay off anybody that recognizes me.

I sit now, in this house I plan on buying, staring at the coffee table, my left hand gripping the pen like my life will end if I let go, and all I can hear is the chauffeur.

"In the pursuit of happiness, don't expect the worst. Happiness is a bubble and negative thoughts can cause it to burst."

I remember back to when Tyler and I first kissed.

How he begged me to stay upstairs and just sit with him and talk to him.

I remember the look in his eyes as I was sitting on the counter.

When I walked back in that room with his girl sitting there, the look on his face wasn't panic, it was happiness.

Do I want to buy a house without a husband?

Do I want to be alone?

Do I really want to run away from my problems?

My Mom didn't raise me this way.

I look down at my body.

I've been working out a lot since I got here, and my fast metabolism is in full force, but now I'm muscular too.

I fought physically, like, in the gym, but why can't I fight physically out of the gym?

Why didn't I just ask Tyler who she was? I told him I knew, but I didn't.

I didn't know.

I remember that suffocating pain.

I still feel it today, and I know I'm not really just, just interested.

I love him.

If I found out Tyler was in trouble, I'd come running back home, back to Philly, with my brother and Delaney and Blake and Tyler, and maybe my parents, because I haven't seen anything about the house being done.

I haven't even heard anything about them rebuilding it.

Mom and Dad are probably so devastated.