ACT 2
(As we return from break, its a few days later since Meg was sent to the OK to Cry Corral. Peter and Lois are in the front room watching TV.)
TV ANNOUNCER: And now back to “Ugly Betty…and Veronica.”
(We see Betty Copper in the Ugly Betty role and Veronica Lodge in the role played by Vanessa Williams.)
BETTY: Miss Lodge, I need this job. The truth is I’m in love with a certain carrot top male.
VERONICA: Me too, but you’ll never get your hands on my Archiekins.
(Cut to Peter and Lois.)
LOIS: TV sure has gone downhill lately.
PETER: Why can’t Archie finally chose between the blond and the rich brat after seventy years of torment? Look at Spider-Man and Mary Jane relationship?
(Cut scene to Spider-Man and Mary Jane signing their marriage to the Devil.)
DEVIL: Now that I have your marriage, Spider-Man, your third movie wouldn’t exist.
SPIDER-MAN: Thank goodness. I didn’t want to pull a Batman and Robin.
DEVIL: Plus, I give you Spider-Nipples on your costume.
SPIDER-MAN: Blast it!
(Cut to Brian walking in on Peter and Lois.)
BRIAN: Did we get any report on Meg yet?
LOIS: It’s been a few days; maybe we should check on her.
PETER: She’s fine, Lois. What’s the worst than could happen?
(Cut to Meg escaping from OK to Cry Corral, that’s really an insane asylum. Meg runs fast, as a pack of guard dogs’ bark at her. As she continues to run, she slips into some mud.)
GUARD: Get them Predators out here!
(We see a couple of Predators from the movie series appear, as they look for Meg.)
PREDATOR: You know we can see them when they’re covered in mud, right?
GUARD: Shut up.
(We now see the warden, and it’s Sybil Danning in her role from the B flick “Reformed School Girls.”)
WARDEN: This is the last time I have Predators as hunters for prisoners. I’ll find you, you little witch.
(Meg gets up, as she drags herself into the street. We see a car head towards Meg, but stops.)
FEMALE VOICE: Get in.
MEG: Thanks.
(The camera turns to see Daria Morgendorffer at the wheel, as the crowd cheers.)
DARIA: What was that?
MEG: You’ll get use to it. My name is Meg Griffin.
DARIA: Don’t tell me you’re related to Sandi Griffin of the Fashion Fiends.
MEG: Who’s Sandi?
DARIA: Close enough. What happened to you?
MEG: I just escaped from a mental hospital, thanks to my idiot mayor back in Quahog.
DARIA: Look, Meg, I think you should come back to my house. Mom said I needed more friends.
MEG: You must be unpopular then?
DARIA: I hate to do this, but when we get to my house, you’re my pen pal from Highland, TX.
MEG: Why Highland?
DARIA: Just a hunch.
(We now cut to Quahog, as we see the Griffins and other people at a yard sale. One booth says “Old Comics from Surprise Guest Star,” as we see Louis Lane/Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons selling Bongo Comics and Futurama stuff. Two armed guards are seen taking him away.)
COMIC BOOK GUY: What did I do?
GUARD 1: Selling Simpsons stuff on Family Guy.
GUARD 2: You know how Mr. McFarlene thinks about having Simpsons stuff on his shows.
COMIC BOOK GUY: Worse cameo ever.
(Peter and Lois walk towards a booth with famous Hollywood items, as we see Todd and his goons are setting up their booth.)
PETER: Holy crap, Lois! Is that what I think it is?
LOIS: It sure is, Peter. It’s an Emmy for Susan Lucci.
PETER: I’m talking about Gene Simmons’ autographed guitar. That must have been a steal.
TODD: It sure is, tubby. I had this in my collection for years.
PETER: How much for it?
TODD: One million dollars.
PETER: I should have told you my wife here did KISS years ago.
TODD: She what?!
PETER: She did KISS.
TODD: If that lovely lady did KISS, then I give you the guitar for $600.
PETER: Freaking Sweet!!! (Peter takes out his checkbook, but we see the name Carter Pewterschmit on the check.)
TODD: Nice doing business with you.
(Peter and Lois leave with the guitar.)
THUG 1: Todd, you know you just gave away our meal ticket?
TODD: We just make 600 big ones, thanks to that idiot’s wife doing KISS. That Carter Pewterschmit is the biggest sucker we ever seen.
THUG 2: Todd, that wasn’t Carter Pewterschmit. (He shows Todd a picture of the real Carter.)
TODD: Who cares? We’re rich, boys.
(We now see Stan Smith with Avery Bullock come in.)
STAN SMITH: Hello, boys. Remember us?
TODD: You!
AVERY BULLOCK: I thought we told you goons to stop selling illegal merchandise in yard sales.
TODD: We’re not doing that anymore, Sir. This stuff is all from our collection.
STAN: Someone broke into the Hard Rock Café a week ago and stole Gene Simmons’ guitar.
TODD: Wasn’t us, dudes.
AVERY: We’ll be watching you goons closely.
(Avery and Stan leave.)
(Cut to the Morgendorffer house in Lawndale, as we see Quinn enter her room to see Daria and Meg trying out clothes.)
QUINN: It’s about time you got some fashion sense, Daria. Who’s you loser friend?
DARIA: Quinn, we just broke into your room to try out you clothes. Aren’t you shocked?
QUINN: Wait a minute, what are you doing in my room?
DARIA: Quinn, this is my long lost twin sister, Meg. She’ll be staying with us for a while, or until Mom and Dad find out from the bank statement.
QUINN: Bank statement?
MEG: Those clothes you bought from the mall, that Mom told you couldn’t have.
QUINN: Daria has a twin sister? I got to get some fresh air.
(Quinn leaves, as Daria and Meg smirk are each other.)
To Be Continued…
YOU ARE READING
Family Guy/Daria/American Dad: Of Another Man's Guitar
FanfictionWhen Gene Simmons Guitar is stolen, it is bought by Peter Griffin at a garage sale. Meanwhile, Meg gets sent to Lawndale and Meets Daria Morgerndorffer.
