Always With You

"Forever and Always"

We've been saying that since we were 17. Forever and always. That was our promise to each other. To stand by each other no matter what, to take care of each other, to never give up on our love. Forever and always.

Something's wrong. Where is she?
Is she safe?
Why aren't you with her?!?
You were supposed to protect her!
She's all you have!!
Save her!
You have to protect her! You have to--

I wake up screaming. I've been having this nightmare for years. Most people have nightmares about irrational fears, events that you can wake up to and know they will never happen. My fears are different. I fear nothing but what is rational, the terrors and tragedies that could happen tomorrow. My greatest fear is losing Sabrina.

  I sit there in our bed, in a cold sweat, overcome by fear, lost in the darkness of the bedroom.
  I feel her hand stroke my arm, and a feeling of relief washes over me. She's here, with me, she's safe and she's mine.
 
"Same nightmare again?"

I almost can't gather myself enough to speak.

"...I'm sorry I woke you, babe..."

She sits up and turns on the lamp. I hate it when I make her stay up like this.

"Sabrina, you don't have to--"

"Come here." She pulls me to her, and holds me, and I become lost in her embrace.

"I'm right here, babe, I'm fine. Everything's okay, I'm never leaving you. You hear that?"

"...I love you so much." That's all I know to say. In all honesty, my love for this woman is the one thing I'm certain of in this world.

"I love you more." She kisses me, and looks at me, longingly.

  I look into my wife's eyes, and suddenly I've gone back to the first time I found myself lost in her eyes. A feeling of peace comes over me. My love is safe, she's here with me.

"Do you need me to stay up with you for a bit?"

She needs to sleep. Don't keep her up.

"Actually...I think I'm okay babe. Just let me hold you."

  We lay there, my wife safe in my arms. I stay awake until she falls asleep. The fear has settled, but it never leaves. I will always be afraid to lose her, and there's no saying that it's impossible for me to lose her.
 
  But she's everything I want in this life, all that I need. Whatever happens in my nightmares, having her is my most magical dream come true. I drift off to sleep, thinking peaceful thoughts. She is forever mine, and I will always be hers.

Forever and always