Finding Megan

7

'My name is Megan. My actions caused a suicide.'

I read the words I have written on the page and cross them out. One neat line erases them. I stare at the paper. I read the words under the line, out loud this time:

"My name is Megan. My actions caused a suicide."

I crush the paper in my fist. The corners scratch against my skin, as it becomes smaller and smaller. The skin on my little finger is pierced. A paper cut. The pain is meant to be piercing. It's just a little ball now. I suck the blood from my finger.

The words play on my mind- 'My name is Megan. My actions caused a suicide.'

I open the scrunched up paper slowly and re-read it, slowly.

Something is bubbling up inside of me. Heat comes pouring out of my chest. Red, hot, scorching heat. The fire licks the inside of my soul- the smoke is filling the room- my insides are burning, slowly. The dark room is closing in, spinning around my body, which is anchored to the ground. I look at my feet, they have fallen through the floor... falling slowly, ever so slowly, excruciatingly slowly, into the black abyss...

I open my eyes- the room is filled with shreds of paper. They look like snowflakes. Each one glistening in the light, winking at me, as they fall from the sky. Pure, innocent angels. Shame about the blood that's hidden in those angels. Wouldn't you agree?

The door opens.

"Megan."

She smiles at me, one last time.

Blood is dripping from the knife in my hand.

Drip, drip, drip.