The Victor

11

When I wake up, it is to no great revelation. Nothing has struck me miraculously in the night. I feel as pinned down by hopelessness as I did when I fell asleep.I force myself to stand up and move to the dining room. The tributes are already there, with Effie, though Haymitch remains absent."Good morning, Piper!" Effie chirps."Good morning," I say. Syca and Maisie are eating full plates of food. I pour myself a cup of orange juice."How did it feel on the chariots last night?" I ask them. Syca is the first to swallow."Terrifying," he said. I look at his arms. They're muscular but he's got no stamina from being malnourished most of his life, and I know the truth of the arena. If you're an underdog, you've got to be able to run."Eat as much as you can," I say to them both. "You'll need your strength in training. When you get down there, go to the plant station. The guy there will give you a ton of advice. Maisie, you're small, so focus on training on the ropes. If you can climb, the bigger tributes can't follow you. Syca, work on your strength. Throw around the weights, train with one of the heavier weapons that doesn't need much technique, like a club or mace.""What am I going to do, bludgeon people to death?" Syca asked."If you need to, yes." I look at Effie. "How much time do we have?""We should leave in a few minutes."I turn back to Syca and Maisie. "Don't fight with the other tributes and stick together. Protect each other."I'm remembering Leif, standing by my side as I warned the Careers away from that basket of bread. I'm remembering rescuing him from the lake. I'm remembering his death."The other tributes will be sticking together for the most part. If any of them try to make alliances, don't do it until you talk to Haymitch or me. Be smart."Syca and Maisie both nod, and Effie stands up."If you two will follow me," she said.They file out, too timid, too quiet. Where's the solemn acceptance of death in Leif's eyes? Where's Magnus's bold charm? Where's Clive's sadistic killer instinct? Where's my drive to get home? Anything, anything more than this bland, nervous attitude that reminds me of a mouse.I can't believe I'm thinking like this. I should be fighting for them. I have to fight for them.If I sit back and allow them to die, how will I face Peeta when I return?That night, when Maisie and Syca return to our floor, I'm the only one there to greet them. Haymitch is out with Chaff. It's just an excuse to avoid their faces."How was training?" I ask them as they sit down to dinner."We did what you said," Syca said. "We spent the first few hours at the plant station. You were right, it was helpful.""And then I practiced on the ropes," Maisie said. "I can't hold on very well yet.""She was good. No one else practiced on the ropes," Syca said. "She's the smallest one there.""That's not necessarily a bad thing. Hopefully the other tributes will ignore you," I say. "And you, Syca?""I lifted weights," he answered."Good," I say. "Go on, eat as much as you can. Try to gain as much weight as you can in the next three days."They both begin piling their plates high. Effie chides them once, but I can see the pity in her eyes.Once they've finished eating, I stand up. "Go get some sleep. Tomorrow, do the same things, only go to the snare station. If you can catch food in the arena, it'll help you a lot. Then go back to climbing, Maisie, and weights, Syca. Don't mix with the Careers."They nod and head off to their rooms. I'm satisfied with what we've accomplished for today. Maybe they can survive long enough to have a chance. And I've still got a lot of pull with the Capitol citizens. I'm sure I can get a few sponsors.I go to my room with all the intention of at least trying to save my tributes.The next day passes just the same, and the next. I can see the hollowness of Maisie's cheeks filling out, the muscles in Syca's arms growing a little bigger. I pray it'll be enough. Their eyes are hopeful now, not pits of despair.When their scores are released, I'm content with 7s for both of them, and I think they both expected lower.The day of the interviews, Haymitch takes Syca for coaching while I go with Effie and Maisie.Effie forces Maisie into a ball gown and flats and drills her on the proper way to do everything. I tell Maisie that almost none of it matters, but she seems to love it. While Effie straightens her posture, I coach her on how to talk to Caesar. She's so demure I decide on shy and sweet for her angle. She pulls it off flawlessly, but I'm hoping that if the other tributes don't think she's a threat, they'll leave her alone. I don't want to watch her die.Then it's on to Syca. Effie has him do much the same. Syca tells me that Haymitch has chosen for him to be strong and silent. Despite his thin physique, I know that the fewer words he says, the better for his persona. It'll make him mysterious, larger than life. That's all the Capitol wants, is a fake version of yourself, I tell him.All too soon, it's time for the interviews. Syca and Maisie come out of their bedrooms, followed by a too-excited Effie. Haymitch and I face them as they pause in front of us."Remember, play to the crowd. They want to feel like they know you," I say to them."And don't offend Caesar," Haymitch adds."Good luck," I tell them."Thank you for everything," Maisie said."Yes, thank you," Syca echoes."We're going to be late for the stylists," Effie says briskly, and she hurries them from the room and into the elevator. I watch the doors close. I can't help feeling like there's nothing else I can do."Come on, Pidge," Haymitch says softly. "We've got to get ready for the interview ceremony too."I wear red. It's what the Capitol wants, so I wear red, a dress that hugs my body, and strappy black sandals. All for the Capitol. I'll never admit it to anyone, but I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, a mosquito against a bear.I meet Haymitch in the foyer, and he offers an arm, which I take. As we make our way to the interviews, Capitolian citizens swarm us, giggling and laughing. We are the only somber ones in the bunch. We make our way to our seats in the huge auditorium and I watch the dark stage intently."Piper."My head turns to look at Finnick and a smile hits my lips."Come with me," he says. I glance at Haymitch, who is watching with steady eyes."Go on," he tells me, and I turn back towards Finnick."What's going on?" I ask him as I slide past the knees of a dozen Capitol citizens."I'm free tonight," Finnick answers. "The entire Capitol is watching the interviews. I thought we seize the opportunity."He pulls my arm, leading me out an exit. We make our way outside into the balmy air just as a tremendous cheer from the crowd announces Caesar's arrival.We walk in silence, enjoying the emptiness of the streets for a few minutes. I take off my shoes, holding them in one hand."How are your tributes this year?" I finally ask.Finnick shrugs. "They could win. They could not. That's the beauty of the Games.""How can you talk about it so…?""Nonchalantly?" Finnick smiles wryly. "I've been a mentor since I was fifteen. I'm twenty-one, Piper. You've seen Haymitch after almost twenty-five years of this. You learn not to care."I bite my lip, trying to swallow my next question, but I can't."Is that why you didn't hate me for getting Magnus killed?"Finnick grabs my arm, stopping me from walking. "Magnus's death was not your fault. He made his choice. And no, I didn't hate you. I never hated you. I always wanted you to win. And I think Magnus did too." One of his fingers brushes the band of metal hidden beneath my shirt. "You had someone to get back to," he murmurs. "Nothing could've stopped you."I meet his eyes, surprised by the softness there. "Come on," he says, "let's find something to do." His lively energy invigorates my bones, and I hike up my skirt, running after him, a laugh on my lips.We end up by an artificial lagoon, the moon sparkling off the ebony water. I have to wonder if even the full moon is real, or if the Capitol creates that every night along with the perfect smattering of stars in the sky. But when Finnick turns back around, thoughts of the too-good-to-be-true night are chased from my mind. He is so alive, so real, that the Capitol dims in comparison."Do you hear the music?" he asks me, leaning back against the balcony, his head lolling back to look at the water. Now that I listen, I can hear faint strains of a violin, wailing over the black lake.Finnick catches my hand, pulling me closer."Stop it," I laugh, pushing on his chest. "We should get back to the Training Center. We need to see to our tributes."Finnick shakes his head, tugging me against his chest so his other hand can grasp my waist. "The night is young, Piper." He meets my eyes and I catch my breath.I let out a gasp as he takes a step back, pulling me with him. He begins turning, his feet falling into familiar patterns. I quickly learn the movement to the dance, and soon we waltz in circles. He spins me out from his body."Haven't you ever wished you could take back your youth?" Finnick asks, and I whirl my body into his."I don't know if you've noticed, but we're still young, Finnick."He smiles and begins moving backwards, carrying him with me. The eerie sound of the violin still echoes in our ears."Take back the days when we could've danced without the threat of the Capitol or the Games. Relive the moments we missed. Seize everything we might've had," he murmurs in my ears.His hands spin me back around. I'm leaning on his chest, looking up at his eyes. My eyes half-close and for the briefest of moments, I think he's about to kiss me.Then my eyes open again and look at his. "Those days are from someone else's life, not ours. We can't live dreaming that someday the odds will be in our favor. The odds are always against us, Finnick. We never could've had anything. The Capitol made sure of that the day we were born." My breath catches in my throat as I feel a wave of grief come over me. Finnick bows his head to touch mine, skin on skin. I can feel his breath on my nose."I know," he says, a miserable smirk touching his lips. "We never had a chance."We walk back in silence and leave each other at the elevators. My chest feels tight. Now that I really, truly think, I can't recall any married tributes. I can never risk having a family or anyone I love. President Snow will find a way to use them against me. I must live a life alone.I'm only seventeen, but I can never be young again. And now that I know that, the loss I feel in my chest burns.I've hardly walked in when the elevator doors open again, expelling Effie, Maisie, and Syca, looking dashing in light yellow and black, respectively."How was it?" I ask Effie."You weren't there?" Syca asks."I was called away, I'm so sorry," I say."It was marvelous. I think we have a real shot this year!" Effie says. She bustles off to the living room."You two should get some sleep. I'm not allowed to see you in the morning," I say to Syca and Maisie. "Just, listen to me. In the arena, you have to forget who you are. Leave behind your families, your friends. If you want to survive, you can't bring anyone you love in there with you."I wait for them to nod in agreement before letting them go to their bedrooms. I wish I knew what tomorrow would bring.