jumpnows pov
We’d organized the tour to leave tomorrow, but going wasnt looking likely at all. This morning had been bad enough, seeing my best friend do that to himself but the funeral was even worse.
I hated her family, hardly any of them showed any emotion, whereas our messed up little row was almost all tears. Somehow we’d all ended up squashed in the back few rows, Bella, bradie, Jimmy, everyone in our tour family, except ash and Shaun. He’d had to give a formal speech, and that alone scared me enough. But why they chose to have an open casket funeral was a mystery, because every scar on her arms was showing, and her head was all bandaged up. Not the way you really want to remember someone is it? Shaun passed out, falling against me heavily. We had to put a hold to the entire show whilst we bought him around, and he didn’t last long after that. Burying her was awful, not only could I not help crying, but I was supporting all shauns weight, and he was crying a fair bit. Then I had ims on my other side, she was holding my hand so hard I could feel it turning purple.
She was crying too, muttering under her breath. Shaun passed out again a few minutes afterwards, we got a few dirty looks as everyone left.
So much for that party getting us all back together, because once again we were all drifting apart. Bella and Andy left, along with bradie, racheal, Jimmy, and shae.
They muttered stupid excuses, they had things to do, places to be, apparently.
I stayed and called an ambulance, Shaun wasn’t waking up. Imogen and Eddie stayed with me, I don’t know why Eddie did but I guess it was because he felt guilty. The last person that’d been with ash had been him, and he was falling apart almost as bad as Shaun had.
It seemed so stupid, when other peoples loved ones died they all seemed to hold it together, or at least tried to make it look like they were. But not us, I guess we were just a big messy group of un-resolved issues that were all exploding one by one.
They wouldn’t let us go through with Shaun, despite the fact that we were as close to family as we could rustle up at the moment, instead we all sat on the plastic seats. Ims had her head against my chest, she was shaking and crying a bit too. The betrayal that I’d felt when I found out she’d slept with Shaun was nothing compared to how upset she was. Maybe if her and Shaun hadn’t gotten drunk and slept together ash wouldn’t have given up. And we wouldn’t be in this mess. But then again, maybe it was supposed to be this way. It was early evening now, the disappearing sun was leaving the corridors all shadowed and creepy. Time seemed to be ticking past slower every minute, until it started to feel like time had stopped all together. That’s what hospitals do, they suck the life out of things until it feels like you’re stuck in this never ending loop of time-less-ness.
We must have looked ridiculous, I was in skinnies, shirt and skinny tie, Eddie was wearing the suit he wore when we chose because they can to tour with us, and ims was wearing a mini dress with my blazer over the top. Not really the glamourous image that girls like to see when they think of short stack and their crew.
Hospitals scared me,
I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew I was being woken up by someone saying “mr Jennings” which was something I wasn’t usually called with my friends.
“mr diviney is going to be okay, he’s just exhausted and hasn’t been looking after himself. You can go home, but we want to keep him in for observation and make sure he eats something”
“no I have to see him”
“that isn’t advisable, hes very worked up”
“he’s my best friend. I can’t leave him here alone”
It took about 5 minutes but we managed to con the nurses into letting all 3 of us through. Okay, so maybe we told them that Shaun wouldn’t be safe without us, which was a lie, but it worked.
He wouldn’t say much, but you could tell he was glad that we were there. When the nurses went to kick us out Imogen put up a fight.
“Shaun stayed with me when I was in hospital”
“you can’t stay”
“I want to be here”
Blah blah blah. It wasn’t a loud argument, or even a very bitter one, but it really got to Shaun.
“just go home Imogen you’ve done enough!!” his voice wasn’t strong, and it cracked a fair bit but it made her jump, and she agreed to go.
She was crying again, was it even possible to cry so much and not dry up?
She left the room, followed by Eddie, but when I went to leave he spoke up.
“will you stay? Please?”
You can’t say no to good manners, can you? So I agreed to stay, despite the fact it was like death here.
