The Girl in Seat 23 {l.r.h.}

twenty-two.

The next time I saw Luke, I decided to break some of the biggest news of my life to him.

"Luke..."

"Hm?"

I bit my lip. Why am I so nervous? "I'm finally going to do it. I'm going to march for civil rights. In D.C. with Dr. King."

His eyes widened. "No."

"What? I always talked about how I want to make a difference. This is my shot."

"I won't let you go." He paced around my backyard, clenching as unclenching his fists. "You're not going. It's too dangerous."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, news flash: it's not 1952 anymore. Girls can do whatever boys can do."

"No, look, Rosi. I'm telling you people have died in marches. You can't go. I'll stop you."

"Try me."

"I'm not fighting with you again."

"No, Luke, you have to let me go. You have to! This is my life. I decide what to do. I care about these people. Can't you ever understand caring about something or someone other than yourself?"

He looked at the ground to hide tears, scuffing his shoes in the dirt. "I care about you, Rosi," he whispered. "I care about you."

"I don't owe you anything. That's what you don't get," I scoffed. "Among the many things you don't get."

"No, you know what? You do owe me something. An explanation." I raised my eyebrows. "Look at you. Why are you like this?"

"Stop it," I said bitterly, frost hidden in the bitterness of my voice.

"No. Why won't you let me in?"

"Stop."

"Why don't you have feelings? Huh?"

"I don't owe you anything. You're lying."

His face was inches from mine. I could feel the body heat radiating off of him. "All I'm trying to do is love you. You're not giving me anything. Why? Why can't you love? Why can't you feel anything?"

"I said stop it!" I screamed, pushing his chest away from me. "You wanna know? Really?"

"Yes! I want to know why you hate this world so much. My life is hard too, but I'm not a robot like you."

"You didn't find your mother!" I shouted. "You didn't see her laying there with a gun, ok?" His eyes widened and his hands fell to his sides. Tears began rolling down my cheeks. "We should've destroyed that basement. We should've knocked out the beams and let the whole house fall through the foundation. We should've set fire to every last panel in that stupid house."

"Rosi, I-" He grabbed my arm.

I shook free from his grasp. "And I hated myself. Okay? I hated this life. And the world. You don't have any idea what it's like when the one person you love the most, the one you think is always going to be there for you, is suddenly gone. I read that stupid note with all the clichés you see in movies. 'I'm sorry.' 'I couldn't do it anymore.' 'Live for me.' Lies. It was four years ago, and you're complaining that I'm being distant? How dare you?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I bit my lip. "Me too."

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this is so long gtg ~Laura :)