Chapter One (Autonomy Lost)

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“Reaching for the inner bright, the very essence-sun of my dreaming bliss,

Guided by a fear blinded outside all shades of the perfect black”

I sat down at my desk and opened my notebook, the spiral-bound pages separating to reveal my drawings; ever-changing, morphing theoretical sketches of the eye belonging to one's inner self: the mind.

My studies of the human mind have left me in solitary for years, only ever leaving to get food and gas. How could I possibly leave behind such precious knowledge for the wear and tear of time without finishing the work that I have so lovingly devoted myself to? To leave such treasure behind is to forget my own self, to commit to suicide and be gone, forgotten to the winds of time.

The human mind is an amazing piece of biological engineering, quite possibly the greatest architectural  feat in history. Its simple appearance mimics deflated, molded noodles; yet the complexity of the reactions within due to simple electronic impulses defies all knowledge and understanding. It entices those around it to love it, hate it, envy it, abolish it, destroy it, and even worship it. How can one live without it? How can one have emotion without it?

How can one live without the ultimate knowledge? To know the human mind to the full extent of its creation would be a sin of its own, for then we would know the mind of God. I refuse to rest until I have unlocked the greatest secrets in history. To know one's self, the consciousness, the memories, and the reactions. How can I live without the ultimate knowledge? I flinch not at the thought of the possibilities, only at the idea of never knowing. To know yourself, you must sit and wait. Meditate to calm yourself. Take deep, slow breaths to regulate yourself. Empty your mind to potentially open the gates of the most guarded castle in existence.

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