Catch ThirtyThree

Chapter Nine (In Death-Is Death)

“Iridescent to the searching eyes, I’m all things vivid in a world of grey

                  So easily spotted, so easily claimed in this domain where all is prey

                  My thoughts a radiant beacon to the omnidirectional hunter-god radar

                  I’m a markerlight of flesh to these subconscious carnivores

                  I am them. I am teeth. I’m their arousal at the kill

                  Feasting on self. A schizo-reality warp. The contradiction fulfilled

                  Focus the only means to see me back to life’s unending swirl

                  A reversal of passing away, as the world of dead, as away is now my origin”

Why me? Why did I have to go through this? I just wanted answers, and there’s no one who would give them to me. I left my notebook at home. Did I leave my tea or finish it? Damnit. Was this punishment? What kind of monster would strip me from my book? Was I too hungry? Did I ask for too much by searching for my answers? The revelation I had held last night was amazing, indeed, as it did not only challenge the idea of a God but oh my, it was beautiful, so much more to be done than what I had finished. Was this the outcome of my discovery? Was this simply the result in a grand mathematical equation? If so then it could support the theories of life simply being a formula. If it was a formula, then it can be predicted…I could predict the future. The formula I wrote last night, could it be? Oh my God, it could be.

Shut up, you’re not getting anywhere with this. You’re nowhere close to home. You’re outside for God’s sakes.
Don’t tell me to shut up, I’m getting somewhere here…

You’re so stupid. No wonder they abandoned you.

I don’t want to hear your blabber.

I stood from the bench I sat on and began walking forward, as my vision blacked out on me once more.