Catch ThirtyThree

Chapter Three (Disenchantment)

"Me - the paragon of fear, an immobile skein of tangled nerves exposed

Hastily clawing my way into the darkest of my inner scenes of torture

I stay my breath to escape this slavery

I stay my breath to re-awake and face it encore

The struggle to free myself of restraints, becomes my very shackles"

While jotting down words into my notebook with my right hand, my left reached for the newly filled cup to the side of the papers, picking it up with the trained, habitual precision that it has been accustomed to. Every day, the cup is in the same spot on the table; five inches to the left of my notebook and five inches above, directly diagonal the corner. I dared not have it too close to my work for fear of ruining everything with a casual yet accidental twitch of the wrist.

Whilst reading over the notes I had written down, I began noticing a pattern. At first I thought that my mind was playing tricks on me...or was it really, in this case? I looked it over again, and again, and yet once more. My eyes widened as glorious knowledge poured into my brain as I took note of the beautiful pattern, and I shut my eyes and my mouth, leaning back in the chair. My lungs slowed down to a grinding halt, my body shuddered as the engines of the machine powered down.

However, in my expectant ecstasy, my mind began racing. I began to realize what the images before me meant, and in my horror I snapped my eyes open, my lips parted and air rushed in as a great gasp of shock, and I stared at the cryptic writings on the paper. The impossibilities! Looking over this writing repeatedly, I groaned and clutched at my head, my blackened fingernails digging into my scalp. Yet another mystery awaited me, one far deeper than the just discovered false treasure. I stood, picking up my notebook, and let loose a deep sigh.

My legs dragged me down the dust-filled, musky hallway to the bedroom. I set my notepad down on the nightstand, dust billowing up and clouding the lamp. The blankets were tossed aside as I hurled myself into the broken, ripped embrace of my mattress.

Staring at the ceiling, I could not shut my eyes. For all the work I have done, after discovering the mystery I have worked for so long, I am back at square one with new problems.