Tearing Down His Walls ~ A Gratsu Fanfic

Chapter 3: Silent Solitude

hey sry i havent updated in about 3.5 billion years...heh heh. it was really stressful coming around the end of the year but summer vaca is on and i do plan on writing a whole lot more so enjoy!
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Natsu heard the final school bell ring. It was finally the end of the day and Natsu couldn't wait to go home a relax. Natsu quickly went to his locker and gathered his textbooks and what not. School wouldn't be out for another month or so and already the teachers were piling on the homework. 'Hmm let's see... Pre-Calc, English Lit. ...ah and Adv. Bio.'. Natsu definetly had his work cut out for him tonight.

"Hey Natsu! Erza, Jellal, Loke and I are all going to the mall. Wanna come with?" Natsu sighed at the fact that Lucy tried to invite him out again. But he didnt like to outright decline her offer.

"Who?" Natsu played the ' I know nobody and am uncomfortable' card. It worked most of the time.

"C'mon you know them! I only talk about them every five minutes" Lucy shook her head. She knew there was no way Natsu was coming with them. Even if she pushed it and made plans ahead of time for the two of them, he always cancelled.

"I'm sorry Luce". 'Cue depressingly sad distant look....now'.

" All right fine. See you tomorrow Natsu" and Lucy took off with her friends waving back to Natsu with a smile.

"Bye". 'Crisis averted'  With that being settled Natsu started on his way home. He of course brought his headphones to drown out the cacophonous noise around him. Despite Natsu's innocent looks he really loved intense music. His favorite song being Hell Above by Pierce the Veil and his favorite band being Bring Me the Horizon definetly didn't match his persona of the 'quiet shy kid'.

Natsu connected with the power behind the lyrics though. It brought him comfort and kept his nightmares at bay. Natsu wouldn't let people know about his nightmares. That's why when he didn't have his music, Natsu would put himself into fantasy world. He got good at it too. People just thought he was spacing out. He hadn't even told Lucy the whole truth about himself.

Natsu was scared of how they would react.

Natsu finally arrived home. He took off his shoes and walked into the kitchen to pull something out for dinner. He lived by himself after all. A lot of students at Fairy Tail High did because 1. the school was on an island across from the main land (we're talkin a ten minute ferry ride. not too bad) 2. Those who worked on the island often worked night shifts on the main land, so nobody is ever really home.

"Happy! I'm home buddy" Natsu looked around for his pet cat. He found it one day one the street with dirt and blood in his fur. Natsu felt so bad that he took him in and now it was like they were best friends! Happy pounced on Natsu's toes and nuzzled into the back of his legs. "I missed you too buddy, but i have to start my homework"

*~*~*~*Time skip~*~*~*

By the time Natsu finished his homework and ate dinner, it was already dark out. Natsu plopped himself in front of the tv and put on his favorite show, Bones. As morbid as it was, it was quite engaging. Solving murder cases with the bare minimum evidence impressed Natsu. But before he could get through one episode he passed out.

*~*~*~*~Natsu's Nightmare*~*~*~*~*

Natsu was sobbing in his room.

"Dad? Dad where are you? I'm scared!"

"NATSU! QUIET! Or i'll  give you something to cry about"It was his new gaurdian. She was cruel. Ever since his father went missing, Natsu was forced to stay with his Aunt Grandeeney.

"I-I'm sorry, but I miss dad. I can't stop it"

"But I can!" Grandeeney pulled Natsu up by his hair and dragged him up to the attic. Natsu was kicking and screaming trying to break free from her vice grip.

"No! No, I'm sorry! Not the attic!"

The attic had no windows and had a single overhead bulb to light it. On the far wall were cuffs and chains. Natsu knew where this was going and he didn't like it. He would be left up there for days, sometimes weeks at a time. That wasn't the worst of it though.

Grandeeney would gag him so he couldn't scream.

"I don't like noisy children" she said and then continued to burn him with the fire poker leaving permenant scars.  Natsu screamed and cried hoping that someone anyone would save him.

"The more you scream brat, the worse it is for you so I suggest you shut up" With that Grandeeney burned him again and pushed the poker into him. Natsu screamed even louder. It went on for hours, until Natsu lost his voice.

Grandeeney left him up there chained to the wall in the dark. Natsu silently sobbed.

'Dad! Where are you?!?Help Me!!!'

*~*~*~*Nightmare over*~*~*~*

"AAHHH!" Natsu woke up in a panic sweat rolling down his forehead. Happy nuzzled against Nastu, seemingly to try and comfort him. Natsu's heart wouldn't slow down and he couldn't utter a sound. Suddnly his stomach lurched. Everywhere he looked all he saw was that same room.

Natsu ran up to his room and locked himself in. He grabbed his scarf and held onto it for dear life while blasting the music in his room.

"I'm fine calm down! She's not here! I'm not ten anymore! She's not here! No! Leave me alone! Let me Go!Why won't they just go away!"  Natsu mumbled the phrases over and over, like he was stuck replaying all of those memories.

Natsu sat on his bed shaking and crying until he came back to his senses. It was the fourth time this week he had had a panic attack. If they get any worse he'd have to call Mirajane. She was the only person Natsu could trust after...everything. She was his appointed therapist after he was found tear-stained and mute.

Natsu and Mirajane comunicated without words. He learned to talk again because of her. She kept his secrets and supported him. She was even motherly towards him and had Natsu live with her until he could live on his own...Natsu fell asleep to the memories he shared with her.

*~*~*~*The Next Day*~*~*~*
"Hey Natsu. We missed you yesterday" Lucy came up to him in her usual cheery way. " So what did you do last night?" Lucy asked. With that Natsu turned from his locker, with his usual stoic expressionless face.

"I watched Bones." He replied the abrupty turned and walked into class taking his usual seat in the back of the class. Lucy saw nothing wrong and just followed him into class. Gray on the other hand noticed something wasn't right. After the countless collective hours of staring at someone, you really get know their face and Gray saw that Natsu's eyes were red with dark rings around his eyes.

Natsu acted like his usual self and people ignored him just the same like any other day. At this point he was a great damn actor. Lucy believed he was fine and thats how he wanted it to stay. Natsu relived he didn't have to worry about her.

"Hey are you okay?" Imediatly Natsu was ejected from his thoughts. He hated being asked those types of questions. He turned around and Gray was standing there with a slight frown on his face. 'Why him! Of all people he noticed something. Alright Natsu fake it and avert your eyes!'

"I-I'm fine" Natsu forced himself not to look at Gray. He knew if he did he would start blushing and the next thing you know he'd be lost in those big beautiful eyes.

"Okay...see ya." Gray left it at that. He knew Natsu wasn't okay but he decided not to push it. It was probably a touchy subject Natsu didn't want to talk about.

'I'm worried about him. Natsu. Please be okay.'