Made In The A.M. (BWWM/ INTERRACIAL) (Book1) (Completed)

15: Before Thought

《Hey! I know that I left y'all with a cliffhanger, but this will explain everything... hopefully. Anywho, there are only a few chapters left followed by an epilogue. Then it will bye-bye for this couple's story. Moreover, here is another chapter. Don't forget to vote & comment your thoughts! Deuces!✌

P.s. The normal writing will be the marriage counselor, Italic will be Anastasia, and the bold will be Stephen during the session. After the session is over everything will be written as usual. You already know that this is unedited as well.》
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Stephen

I never thought that we would really have need for counseling, but Ana wanted, no needed this. So here we are because I would do anything to keep my love happy. I honestly do not want to be here. It is noone's business but ours what goes on in our relationship. It most definitely is not a stranger's business nor should I have to be subjected to their judgement of me when they do not even know me. What happened in London should not of happened and I apologized for that already.

I thought that it was behind us, but it is obviously not so. When Ana walked out on me after taking off her ring I felt like complete shit. I had not meant to just stand there but it was like I was frozen in shock. I could not believe that my favorite cousin had said those things about my love and child or brought my ex to try to get us back together or whatever their plan was. I was confused and conflicted. Regardless of how wrong my cousin was she was still my cousin, blood and my love was my everything.

That was my downfall. Choosing to let them hash it out while I stood back on the sidelines watching in a stupor as my love defended herself and our child against Nina and Irina. The only thing that brought me out of my stupor was when Ana bitch slapped Nina and that was when I finally tried to intervene fearing for my love and my child's safety. I knew that Ana could hold her own in a fist fight but she is with child and one hit to the stomach could do some serious damage. I never meant to yell at my baby neither. I had just gotten so angry at the situation that it happened.

So here I am at her request sitting on a couch with her at the opposite end with a stranger in front of us recording everything we say.  Ana will not even so much as glance my way and fuck, does it hurt. We were so happy then London and now she barely even talks to me. She is literally sitting no more than 3 feet away from me yet I feel like we are miles apart.

"Sometimes I feel like none of this can possibly be real. Like, why would he really want me? After years of us being friends he suddenly wants me to be his. I am doubtful by nature, and at times I feel like I am being lied to and played with. Then when I needed his support while I was verbally under attack he just let it happen. He had just stood there and everytime that I have ever wondered 'how could this man truly love me as much as he does' came rushing back to me. I took off his ring and left it on the table for him to give to a woman he really loves", my love said staring down at the ring that was on her finger once again, turning it around her finger.

Hearing her say that she does not believe that I love her and that I am playing her makes my feelings of guilt and regret increase tenfold. I honestly did not know that she felt that way. I thought that I was doing good in showing her how much she means to me and my love for her. But hearing that just makes me feel like a failure.