Glassbreaker Alice

Chapter the Seventeenth, In Which Alice Gets a Royal Welcome

Alice was glad she was already standing since it probably would have been impossible for her to get up if she'd been sitting. She inclined her head like everyone else but jogged her eyes back and forth to see what was going on. The rabbit was standing so straight it looked like his buttons were going to fly off his waistcoat. With robot movements, he lifted his silly horn and blasted it. Then, he squawked, "Presenting her majesty, Queen Elyse of the Looking Glass. Revere your queen!" His voice crackled through the silent hall.

The woman glided out of the shadows like she'd been hiding there the whole time. She moved so smoothly, it looked like she was skating, but no, it was even smoother than that. Finally, she caught up to the light from the candles, and Alice saw that she wasn't walking or skating. She was riding on the back of a big green turtle.

Apparently the queen was a real diva, and she took complete advantage of the fact that she had a castle full of people watching every move she made. Her dress was deep blue, something like the color of the sky right after the sun goes down. There were shapes embroidered all over it with shiny thread, and as she came closer, Alice realized they were birds, some kind of crazy Aztec birds. As the queen moved, the bird shapes picked up the candlelight, making it look like they were dancing around her skirt. Her hair was the color of wheat, and she had it pulled on top of her head in a pretzel of braids that shimmered like a waterfall. Wrapped around her swanky hairdo was a silver crown, and in the center of it right between her eyes was an oval gem the same color as her dress. It sparked and glittered like an icicle.

Her getup was so showy that it was the first thing Alice noticed. It wasn't until she floated closer that Alice got a good look at her face. The queen was so gorgeous that Alice immediately started looking for flaws. There weren't any, of course. She'd either hit the genetic jackpot or spent a whole lot of time with a plastic surgeon. If it wasn't enough that she was more attractive than a magazine cover, she was also really young looking. She couldn't have been much older than Alice herself, but she had the confidence of someone who was decades older or who had grown up on a runway. And it was pretty obvious that she knew it. All of it. And she was making the most of it. There was a pleased little smile rollicking on the queen's lips.

The turtle finally made it all the way to the table. Two of the frogs bounced over to assist the queen. One squatted while the other put out his hand to help her down from the turtle's back. She stepped out onto the crouching frog's back, and his tongue flicked out. Then, two big guys with rhinoceros heads who were dressed like Roman soldiers, complete with red capes fluttering behind them, appeared carrying a gigantic wooden throne. They set it in front of the table in an empty spot, and one of the frogs made a big show out of dusting it off with a cloth. One of the servants squatted back down, and the other one helped the queen step on him and then sit in the throne. But it took the muscles of one of the rhino men to scoot the throne into place in front of the table.

Now that the spectacle was over, the queen acted like she was suddenly shy, lowering her eyebrows and saying in a breathy voice, "Oh, don't let me interrupt your conversations. Please, everyone, sit. Eat." She lifted the goblet in front of her and said, "Be merry."

There was a rush of applause and even some cheers. Then, chairs scraped the floor as the guests sat back down and returned to their conversations.

"Ah," Gooberchase sighed. "Isn't she splendid!" He looked like he'd just seen the Virgin of Guadalupe.

"Well, she knows how to make an entrance anyway," Alice mumbled.

"Ha," snorted Gooberchase. "Is that jealousy I detect, my dear?"

"Jealousy?" she cried. "What are you, nuts?"

"It is entirely understandable," said Gooberchase, his nose stuck so far up he would have drowned if it had been raining. "Pretty though a dusty little mite like you may be, you certainly cannot compare to the brilliance of a creature like our queen. Just look at her," he said. "She is like a goddess plucked from the mountaintop for us mere mortals to worship."