smile | cth

4- why do you care

He pulls away almost as instantly as he kissed me, and my lips feel empty without his attached to them. 

"No, no, I'm so sorry. I need to go. I need to leave." He rambles, grabbing his book and his school bag. He breaks into a sprint and leaves me alone and breathless. I try to run after him but he's always been faster and stronger, so he's already gone. 

I don't know how he thinks, and I doubt I ever will. Every time we get too close, he freaks out and puts space between us. However, we've never kissed before and I'm worried how this is going to affect our friendship. 

It's my fault, really. I should never have asked him what I did, and I definitely shouldn't of brought up our conversation with Shawn. 

By the time I'm home, a thunderstorm is brewing so I'm absolutely drenched with rain water, im shivering and I'm ready for bed. Almost as soon as I'm through the door, I hear Shawn's over-loud laughter. 

"HAHAHAHA!" He's practically screaming, and I groan, dumping my bag by the door. 

"Shut up!" I scream back, storming into the living room to find him and Ashton laughing about something. They both stop laughing and Luke appears beside me, holding a bowl of Doritos. "I hate you Shawn. I hate what you do to people. I hate how you can just laugh it off like nothing." I shout, spinning around and pushing Luke away to make my way upstairs. 

"What did I do?!" He shouts after me, running towards me. 

The rain water that is sticking my hair to my scalp is running down my face and adding to the tears that are wrecking my makeup. "You freaked Calum out! You know what he's like!" I stomp up a few stairs and Shawn follows me. 

"It's not my fault you're both in love with each other and too dumb to realise it!" He says defensively, holding his arms up in sarcastic surrender. 

"Calum isn't dumb." I mumble, before returning to my angry self. "Will you just leave us alone from now on?!" 

"See - this is what I mean! It's always 'us' or 'Calum is this, Calum says that' you're so freakishly in love  with him!" My brother says, clearly frustrated. 

"Shut up!" I shout, shoving his chest. He stumbles down a few stairs and trips, landing on his butt. He immediately groans and screws up his eyes in pain. 

"Jade, that fùcking hurt! You fùćking bìtch!" He shouts at me but I don't even feel a little bit bad. 

"Oh, go cry to your manwhore friends." I snap, spinning around and storming up the stairs, grabbing my phone to try and call Calum. 

When he doesn't pick up, unsurprisingly, I call Michael and explain everything. Michael listens and stays quiet while I'm talking, he says he'll try to talk to him, without bringing up what happened. 

Sometimes with Calum, it's easier to avoid the problem rather than grab the bull by the horns and solve it. 

"Jade," Luke's by my door. I'm not in the mood to talk to him. All he's ever done is make Calum feel absolutely miserable, and right now, he's making me feel the same way. I stand up and slam the door closed, returning to my sitting position on my double bed. "Jade!" 

"Go away Luke, I don't wanna talk to any of you." I shout at him, groaning loudly and switching on my music. 

"Jade!" 

"Luke! Go away!" I scream standing up and kicking the door violently. 

"Fine! Fine! But just so you know, Calum isn't good enough for you." 

"Actually, I couldn't care less about that. No matter how often Shawn tells you, I don't like Calum that way. And even if I did, I can promise you 100% that he would be good enough. He'd be better than you, if that's what you're  trying to say. I personally prefer  guys who haven't had their dicks inside 1000 different girls." I pause before banging on the door again. "So quit getting stuck in others people business, nobody wants you anymore, you're old news." 

Me and Luke used to get on quite well when we were about 13. He was always the cute, funny kid at school and everyone loved him. Sure, I may have had a crush on him when we first met, but he's always had a díck personality. What I have noticed recently, however, is that girls are no longer excited by him. Sure, they sleep with him, but it's gotten to the point where that's it. Girls aren't even interested enough to tag along long enough to get played. 

I don't know the last time Luke was seen with someone for longer than a night. 

"You see, Jade, you always go on and on about how bad me and Ash treat Calum but  you treat everyone else except Calum like complete shît!" Luke opens my door and I'm forced to face him. "What did I ever do to you? Not Calum, not Michael - you! What did I ever do to you?" 

"You humiliated Calum for years, and he's my best friend. Clearly you and Shawn aren't that close otherwise you would know what it feels like to have your best friend hurt." 

"Oh trust me, I know how it feels. But I don't dedicate my life to everyone else!" 

"Why do you even care so much?!" I scream, and Luke's eyes just meet mine.