Broken

05.Trapped Again

Chapter 5: Trapped Again
Song: "Pity Party" by Melanie Martinez
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The front door opened and I heard Tyler talking with people who's voices I didn't recognize. After a few minutes, I nervously crept out of my room and into the kitchen.

Tyler glanced at me but didn't say anything, he just kept talking to the other 4 people who were in the kitchen. A woman—who was talking to Tyler—noticed me and stopped speaking. Her sudden silence caused everyone to look where she was looking— at me.

"And this is Amity?" She asked, breaking the awkward silence. Tyler nodded and the woman smiled at me. Tyler nervously said,

"Amity, let's go sit down."

The woman sat on a chair across from the couch that Tyler and I were sitting on. Her brown hair was in a neat bun; she had on a white button up shirt and a knee length tight blue skirt. She wore a small name tag that read 'Sarah'.

Sarah spoke in a high-pitched yet soft and comforting voice. She explained,

"Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm going to ask both of you a couple of questions. Then I'll ask a few more questions to both of you privately. Okay?"

"Sounds good." Tyler replied. I said nothing and continued staring at Sarah. She asked the typical therapist questions like 'how does living here make you feel' and 'what's been going on that caused the problems in your home'.

I gave the typical answers; and by answers I mean lies like 'I feel fine' and 'I'm okay'. My lies didn't seem to work because when we talked privately, she asked those questions again until I gave real answers. That was the first time in a long time that I told someone how I actually felt; it felt good to tell the truth about my feelings.

Our conversation was ending, but before I got up Sarah said to me,

"Amity, as you can probably see, this home is not suitable for you to live in. Once I talk with your social worker and whatnot, we'll be helping you move to another family member's house where you'll be living for quite a while."

After that I didn't know whether to feel worried or relieved. Even though I kind of expected it, the whole moving thing still shocked me a little bit. I also wondered where Tyler would go and what would happen to him. I worried about him more than I had to.

* * * * *

"You're sure that's everything?"
My social worker, Rebecca, asked me as she grabbed one of my three bags of belongings. I simply replied,

"Not necessarily all I have...but it's all I need." She smiled at me then we proceeded to walk up the steps to the porch of my aunt and uncle's house—where I could be living for up to a year depending on how long my parents needed to recover and all of that stuff.

I didn't bring a lot of my things because I knew my cousins would just ruin it all. My cousins weren't the nicest people; extremely rude and obnoxious for some reason. In my opinion, their parents were that reason.

Although I wasn't happy to live with my cousins, it was my only option besides my grandma and grandpa who were...kind of out if it because of their old age. So my aunt and uncle were a little better since they could take care of me.

Rebecca left once I got to my room; but she never actually saw my room. So she wasn't able to get upset that I was going to be sleeping in a dirty, dusty attic. I guess it was better than living with and alcoholic, though, so I had to just accept it. I knew my aunt would never give me a real room because I'm not her kid.

Rebecca was really only there with me helping me move in because she likes to think she's involved in all of her patients'/clients' lives. She cared about me, but she kind of had to care about me, so it didn't make me feel special or anything. I just felt like another chore, another task; a burden.

I eventually got all my stuff in my room and set it up after a few hours. Decorating didn't take as long as I thought it would. That was probably because I only had a painting, a couple pictures, and some books amongst other small decorations.

My whole room only fit my bed, a few feet then the dresser, and my body length mirror next to the dresser. It was pretty cramped compared to my old room, but at least it was something. I was still worried about Tyler, so I couldn't think about my room too much.

Why hadn't anybody told me what was going to happen to Tyler? I wanted to know but was too afraid to ask anyone; I tried to forget it.

"Dinner!" My aunt yelled, startling me and interrupting my thoughts. I walked out of my room, down the attic stairs, and then into the kitchen. I looked at the kitchen counter to see massive amounts of food. My three cousins—Lina, Crystal, and Brice—were already shoving chicken and coleslaw down their throats. It disgusted me how much they were eating.

I grabbed a bowl and scooped one small spoonful of coleslaw into it, almost filling half of the bowl. My aunt looked at my strangely, then put a medium sized chicken wing on top of my coleslaw. I said with a shaky voice,

"Oh, I, uh, I don't really like, um, chicken." I kept my head down the whole time, trying to avoid eye contact with my Aunt Lydia. She gave me a confused look then asked me annoyed,

"Then what do you want girl? A salad?" My cousins laughed and mocked me for not liking the food that they did. That didn't bother me though because it got me out of eating a lot. I took the chicken out of my bowl and sat in the chair farthest away from my aunt, uncle, and cousins.

I only ate half of what was in my bowl. I dumped the rest out in the sink before anybody could see that I barley ate. I ran back up to my room and locked myself in. The good thing about having the attic was that I could be alone where nobody would bother me.

The dresser held most of my clothes, the rest of my clothes were in my suitcase underneath my bed. I unzipped the suitcase and reached inside. I pulled out one of the three blades that I snuck inside of the suitcase.

Way to go, fatty. You could've eaten less than you did. You didn't have to eat at all, but you did because you're weak.

I know. I'll say my stomach hurts next time...I'm sorry I messed up.

Don't tell me sorry, tell your own fatass sorry. Look what you did to your stomach. Fat.

I know, I'll do better. I promise.

I slid the blade across my wrist, again and again. The voices in my head teased and taunted me; and I couldn't make them stop. They had become a part of me that I couldn't get rid of. They were me.

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A/N I'm sorry it took me so long to update, I'll try not to take this long in the future!!

🐼Bye loves!!🃏