Broken

03.Ana's Voice

Chapter 3: Ana's Voice
Song: "Mrs.PotatoHead" by Melanie Martinez
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I'd had a major crush on Caleb since the 6th grade, and I used to think that he liked me back. I had always believed that I had a good chance. Now, I realize that a girl like me never could never have a chance with anybody; especially not a guy like Caleb Price.

I kept running—with tear-filled eyes—to nowhere. All I knew was that I had to get away from what I had witnessed.

Caleb Price and Kiera Lily; I never thought it would happen, but it did. I ran away from what I saw because it broke my heart. Caleb was the reason I came to school. Now he was over in the corner kissing Kiera, and I had no reason to come to school. So I ran.

I reached the girls' washroom and ran to the mirror. The voices grew louder; I couldn't quiet them.

Caleb doesn't like you because you're ugly. Worthless. Fat.

"Shut up." I mumbled, trying to ignore the voice of the monster in my head.

Nobody ever likes the fat girl, haven't you noticed?

"I said shut up." I said louder. The voice kept yelling louder before I gave in.

Now go to the stall, and lock yourself in. You need to get rid of breakfast or you'll get fat.

I listened to the voice, and locked myself in the washroom stall. I took the hair tie off of my wrist and pulled my hair back into a high ponytail. I took a few deep breaths before leaning over the toilet.

Do it. Get rid of the fat. Get rid of this morning's calories. Do it. You'll be happy afterward.

I couldn't fight the voices any longer, so I obeyed them. I stuck my index and middle finger down my throat. I didn't know how long it would take since it was my first time.

My gag reflex kicked in and I almost pulled my fingers out. Then I remembered how happy Ana said it would make me.

After a long minute of struggling, I felt an acid-like fluid coming up my throat. Everything that was in my stomach was no longer there.

Good job. I'm proud of you. But look at your stomach, it didn't do much. We're gonna have to work a bit harder.

Okay, fine. But only because I'm fat. When I get skinny, you're gonna have to leave. Okay, Ana?

No promises.

I walked out of the stall after my little chat with Ana. I pulled my shirt up in order for me to see my stomach in the mirror. I pinched my stomach and I realized that Ana had told the truth. I was fat.

I washed my mouth out with water before I left the washroom. I didn't know what to do; but I knew I couldn't go back to where Caleb and Kiera were.

I took out my phone and waited for the time to pass. It did pass, but very slowly.

When the bell rang, I practically ran to my 5th period class; I had English. I took my seat in the very middle of the class. Thank God I didn't have it with Caleb or Cassy.

However, my table was right next to Kiera's. I never really talked to her though, so I didn't see it as a big problem. I was wrong.

When class started—no one was paying attention, as usual—I saw people writing notes.

Unexpectedly, a note was passed to the girl next to me, who gave it to me. I gave her a confused look,  expecting her to have an answer as to why I was getting the note. She just shrugged and continued to stare off into space.

I cautiously unfolded the small piece of torn paper. I had no idea what the paper would say, but I knew it couldn't be good. I wasn't prepared for what was written:

'Hey slut, how was your night with Anthony? I can't believe you'd that when he's dating Vanessa! You're such a whore!'

I stared at the paper, desperately trying to hold back the tears that were shoving their way out of my eyes. I took a deep breath and wiped my stray tears. I walked up to Mr.Kennedy's desk and asked,

"Can I go to the restroom?"

"Could it wait until after class or is it a, you know, female emergency situation?" He whispered the last part. I replied,

"Emergency." He said okay and I rushed to the bathroom at the end of the hall. I locked myself in the stall once again, but that time all I did was cry. Luckily, no one was in there with me.

They wouldn't say that stuff if you were skinny.

I know, I know. I'm gonna work harder on getting skinny. Then they won't say bad stuff about me...right?

Right.

But what did they mean? What do they think I did with Anthony? I wasn't even with him last night; or any night.

I don't know, but we'll stop them. Soon, they won't be able to say those things because you'll be beautiful and skinny.

Okay, but you have to help me.

Oh, don't worry. I will.

I stopped crying and opened the stall door. I don't have to worry; Ana will help me, I thought as I looked at myself in the mirror and remembered what the note said.

I walked out of the washroom and into the hallway. Even though I knew I'd probably get more notes, I went back to class and sat back down.

* * * * *

The dismissal bell rang at the end of the day, and I walked to the front of the school. I had just started the walk home when I heard someone yelling for me to wait; it was Cassy.

I tried to ignore her and walk faster, but she ran over to me.

"Amity! What happened at lunch? And why are you ignoring me?"

I shook my head and responded,

"No reason, Cassy." She looked at me with melancholy eyes; I could tell she was upset about my reply.

"Amity...please just tell me why you ran off. I really don't wanna guess." She begged. I sighed and finally answered,

"I saw Caleb. He...he was with Kiera. They were kissing, and I didn't know what to do...so I ran." There was a pause before Cassy said in a low voice,

"Oh...I'm so—" I cut her off.

"Please, don't say you're sorry. I'm going home now...see you later." I turned and continued to walk home.

When I got home and opened the front door, I heard a loud crash.

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A/N Soooo...how you like the third chapter? Good? No? Eh?

In case you didn't figure it out: the bolded and slanted words (this) is the voice of Ana, or anorexia. The slanted words (this) is Amity replying to Ana. It's basically just a conversation in Amity's head.

Okley Dokley!

🐼Bye loves!🐼