Whatever Happened To Normal?

Chapter 25:

Why?

Why does pain harbor over innocent people?

The people who do nothing but give to others and care for them?

Why does it seem that terrible people become rewarded and remembered by name for their terrible deeds?

Why is it fair for precious gifts to be taken away from the ones who need them the most?

We may never know the answers to theses questions.

But we may just find a way to survive them.

***

He stood there frozen like a statute across from her door. Waiting. Waiting to see her. To hear her voice. He has stood there like a statue. For two hours. Frozen. Broken. Panicked.

He's not prepared for any of this. For what is to come next beyond that steel door. He's not prepared to see her in pain or worse- dead.

It must have been bad when the room became packed to the door with nurses. It must have been terrible if it left every single one quiet as they exited the room. When the last nurse comes out, she has a small blanket, coated in blood, and under the thing cloth, Daryl can see the small form of an infant. Shaking his head, he doesn't need to ask to know that the last one passed away. But for the sake of Beth, he needs to know what he's going to find on the other side of the door.

"Excuse me... um, I know this is a terrible time, but I need to know what's happening with my fiance. Please." His eyes stay glued to the lifeless body beneath the blanket as his mouth mechanically asks the question.

"She experienced preeclampsia or Toxemia. The last child did not show up on ultrasounds and she had already lost quite a lot of blood giving birth to the first two. By the time she started deliverying the last baby,he blood was dangerously thin and well... the delivery took to long to perform and the baby ended up passing in the womb. Your fiance had experienced some small seizures becuse of the preeclampsia, but she is stable now. You may go in and see her if you'd like. She kept calling for you earlier, but you weren't here. We couldn't have let you in anyway because of the situation anyway. I am terribly sorry sir." His head automatically nods in acceptance to the apology and he watches her carry the lifeless baby down the hallway and turn. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath in and then enters Beth's room.

She is curled up in the twin sized bed, hair sweaty and a mess- her skin pale and eyes dull. It hurts him seeing her this way. It hurts him so much he can barely hold onto the air in his lungs to breathe. Slowly, he walks towards her and sits in an arm chair. Over looking her, she never looks up. She never blinks. She barely seems to breathe. His heart aches for her lose. Losing a child you never knew existed has to be by far one of the most painful things anyone can experience. All the love Beth would have given that boy or girl is just lost in the space around them. Yeah, she has her twins, but she lost a miracle baby. A baby that could have made her more happy and caring, and loving than she already is. Gone. Just, gone. Pulling his chair closer to the bed, he reaches out and places a hand on her hip and gently rubs back and forth.

"I'm sorry. This is all my fault." The silence fills with the small sound of choking back tears, but they aren't coming from Beth. "If I would have kept my big mouth shut...If I would have just been a man and stayed with you when you needed me- then maybe..."

"I don't want to hear any more of your dramatic apologies." Her voice is monotone and un-Beth-like. "You left Daryl. End of story. You left, I was alone, depressed, I cut myself, I over came it, and found a donor all on my own! I would have been ten times better if you have just stayed away. If you would have just moved. But you came back and you tried to be something that you aren't. You lost two children in the first four weeks of working for Rick. You suck at taking care of people. You know that. You know why you never had an actual girlfriend or stayed with Rick? Why we can't work out? Because you only care about yourself. About what benefits Daryl FUCKIN Dixon! You're incapable to loving anyone." Taking a deep breath, she shakes her head and rolls over to face away from him. "I loved you. I still love you. But it's not fair being in a relationship of any kind with someone who's never wanted to take responsibilty and take care of someone besides himself. Thank you for getting me to the hospital and coming back to check on me... but I never want to see you again."

"I understand..."

"So that's it?"

"What do you want me to say?" He bursts and she sits up, just as mad and enraged.

"I want you to fucking fight for someone for once in your life! You used to be that rough asshole who took what he wanted without question. And now... now you're being a cowardous dick who walks with his tail between his legs and refuses to speak up! I'm tired of these fucking games! WHAT DO YOU WANT!"

"I WANT YOU!"

Silence falls between them, shock, and anger- but this is the kind of anger you feel when you can't express your feelings.

"Is there a problem in here?" A nurse pokes her head in and both Beth and Daryl answer in unison.

"NO!" She leaves and Beth just stares at Daryl.

"Huhh... What?"

"Don't you stand there and say things like that, if you're going to just walk back out of my life like it's no big deal. Because I can't take any more heart ache Daryl...." She starts crying and Daryl pulls her close as he sits on the bed beside her. His arms wrap around her and he can feel all her pent up pain.

"I'm here...for now and forever...as long as you want me." He whispers and kisses her forehead.

"I need you."