Bliss

13 - Sky

I try my best to make Siena laugh--she looks so weak and worn out--but after a while, as her laughs become hoarser and more forced, her head slumping over Ingrid's shoulder, I realize I'm doing more bad than good. The weather is a little too calm, with no wind. The absence of motion seems to be an advantage to the clouds, because they sink lower, their dark shadows more pronounced now that they're blocking out the sun.

"I'm hungry, Ingrid," Siena mumbles into Ingrid's shirt. Ingrid replies by whispering something in her ear, and Siena responds with a tiny smile. I bring my hands to my arms and rub them up and down.

"It's getting a little cold," I say. "The weather's going bad again."

"It's dark," Siena mumbles.

"Shh, baby, don't talk," Ingrid says calmly. "Just rest. We're almost home."

"Ingrid--"

"What, Sky? We're going to have another storm, I know. Just be quiet. I'm trying to get Siena to--"

"Ingrid!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry," I say, feeling the immediate relief once the words get pushed out. Ingrid just grunts and says, "You said that already."

"No, not about the thing earlier," I begin. "I mean, yes, but it didn't feel like you forgave me. I just . . ." I was thinking about it this morning. About our fight. Equals. We're not equals. But we are. "I wasn't clear on what I meant, and I don't think you understood me."

"I did understand you, or at least, I think I did," Ingrid says, hushing her voice a little. Siena is lulling away to sleep. "You're forgiven, Sky. I know you won't go near them again. And . . . I tried to switch areas this morning. I don't want to mail them anymore."

"You what?" I say sharply.

"Relax, I didn't give up my promotion."

"Good." A wave of relief washes over me. Ingrid has worked too hard for that position. "So, you're not mad?" I ask.

"I trust you not to do anything rash," Ingrid says.

"That doesn't exactly answer my question," I point out. I pause. "So you must be mad." Ingrid doesn't say anything. "Ingrid?"
"I'm not," she says. "Just thinking."

We walk in silence, then. I expect the clouds to separate a little, but they don't. Instead, it seems like they are all clumping together, getting darker and lower, their presence heavy, looming over us like monsters. We're still in the town's center, which makes me uneasy. I can make out the store from here, the glass missing from both the storefront and the ground, where it spilled.

I think it was a soldier. I have made up my mind about it. Nobody from Oceania would do this; nobody has been raised that way. I assume whoever has done it has been caught, and they're locked up on death row now, and I can't bring myself to have any guilt or pity because it's right. They're supposed to. That's the law. But at the same time, I could see myself having pity.

"Hey, Sky."

I look up. I didn't realize I was staring at my feet.

"Sky--"

"What?"

"There's a man down the block."

I follow Ingrid's pointing finger, a few blocks down from where we are standing. The sky has darkened almost like it's night, but not quite. It's not night. It's day. This is terrifying. Thunder rolls deeply in the distance, and Siena stirs in Ingrid's arms. I feel the first drop on my left shoulder, so large and quick and cold it bleeds through the fabric of my shirt. The next one, I feel at the top of my head, and the next one on my outstretched hand, feeling out for the upcoming rain.