one shot.
two shots.
it was a chilly thursday night and he was at the bar, trying to drown his thoughts.
do it! come on, you're a man! you can do it!
no. don't do it. you're gonna regret it.
he sighed in frustration at the two different voices in his head egging him on and ran his fingers through his hair.
he signaled his shot glass towards the bartender, asking for a refill.
he promised himself that it would be the last glass. after all, he had to drive himself home.
he quickly downed the bitter liquid in his glass.
he signaled for another one.
ok, last one. i promise.
he took a sip.
then, a wave of confidence suddenly washed over him.
you know what, i'm gonna do it.
he took his phone out from his pocket and scrolled though his contacts.
he stopped when he saw your name, his finger hovering over it.
he finally pressed on your name and put his phone beside his ear as it started to ring.
he didn't know what to expect.
did he want you to pick up?
did he not?
a sigh of relief left his lips when he heard the robotic voice of your voicemail ringing through his ears.
a loud beep followed the voice, signaling for him to leave a message.
he stammered out his name, silently cursing at himself. the whiskey was supposed to make him more confident.
then he paused.
what would you think of this message?
would you find this weird?
he cleared his throat.
"i love you"
he groaned at his slurred words. each syllable seemed to slide into the next.
he hung up after that and downed the rest of his whiskey before walking out of the bar.
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hoseok woke up the next morning, groaning at the sight of bright sunlight even though he was indoors.
he checked the time.
10.47 am
he jumped out of bed.
he was meeting you in 13 minutes!
he quickly brushed his teeth and rushed out of his house.
he drove to the coffee shop where the both of you were supposed to meet.
hoseok checked his hair in the rear view mirror, mentally slapping himself when he saw his attire.
after getting home last night, he immediately collapsed in bed. therefore, he was wearing the exact same thing he was wearing the day before.
when he got to the coffee shop, he could see you sitting at your usual corner, sipping on a cup of hot chocolate.
he took the seat opposite yours, apologising for being late.
both of you conversed.
it was a casual conversation until you mentioned the word "phone"
hoseok tensed up upon hearing that word.
you must have noticed, as you went on to another topic.
you decided that you would just wait for him to bring up that topic himself.
"i will definitely bring up that topic in person soon," he promised to himself.
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1. spit it into her voicemail, a little slurred and sounding like the shot whiskey you downed for courage. feel as ashamed as you do walking into work in last night's clothes. wake up cringing for days, waiting for her to mention it.
- r. mckinley
