The Bachelor Home Is Where The Heart Is Book 9 In The Series

chapter 12

Pamela POV

I have been spending the day working like crazy and thinking of things that's going on I know that my husband is calling the studio with the boys after he works for a bit in the studio he has to go and do this video for Golden again which means I have to as well because I am doing that video too hopefully we'll have it done soon I'm feel happy doing his video with him because he wrote the song for me and I love everything about it but I was kind of shy at first and it's nice to see that he has the boys popping up in it and everything and can do which is kind of cool but I just hope we can get through everything without having to feel like we're being watched today for some reason which I am still feeling right now at this moment

Jennifer - okay seems like you're lost in thought and everything there again

Pamela - I'm just thinking for some reason and I'm still being watched I don't know why ever since that time that we were all kidnapped I've kept having those feelings and it nightmares still to appoint I think everybody feels like my nightmares are going away because I've been telling them that but I still have them I just wish I could shake the feeling that way so have them I don't know I have them every now and then but they're starting to come a little frequent but again I don't know what to do about it

Jennifer - are you doing whenever the therapist said for you to forget about that stuff because you got to understand you canceling your nightmares haunt you and everything that was a bad experience that we all had I'm doing what my mind tells me to do because we got to get past us if we ever want to clear her head and feel free of everything that's holding over our heads you know that girl

Pamela - I know for sure that you're definitely mean the right one to talk to me about this stuff because you've been there you're going through the same stuff but it's not easy and I mean I tried to be a rock and everything and that now because I don't want everyone in my family to see that I'm falling apart I've gotta try to hold it together

Jennifer - you been through a hard time we all have and you have to learn to handle this just as much as the rest of us do

Pamela - I guess you're absolutely right about that one I'm just trying to figure out we can pull this off without having to deal with crap and things not always easily trying to get through your day without having a relapse about something that happened to you I know one thing though they definitely keep me going and that's the love of my husband and family you know I've never felt so strong before I mean when I was a single woman that did not does raising my son on my own and then when I met the man of my dreams I knew everything was what I needed it to be

Jennifer - exactly home is where your heart is your husband and your kids and your friends and your family is everything the standing by you in this girl you're going to get through it just as much as the rest of us I know that because I have my family just as much as you have your family just like the rest of us are family cell. Just remember anybody that works with One Direction are Zayn as always going to be there for you

And I definitely let my best friend was right there was no way I was going to let anybody try to figure out and take me down I'm definitely going to look out for what's happening around me these days I just need to forget about my nightmares if I can't have forgot about a lot of them they're not as bad as they used to be I am coming over and a long way but sometimes I just feel like I don't know which way to turn I know one thing with the love of Zayn Malik I will do anything to keep this the way it's supposed to be and I will overcome it off because that's what true love is I just hope that we can get through today without having to have the feeling that we're being watched I still have that feeling that's just one thing I want to end