Dank Diaries ||| Paigedro Challenge ||| [OLD]

1

A @_Paigedro_ Fanfic.

Paige, Larry, and Mary ran down the hall of Paigedro Middle School. Harry Potter ran down the hall, "DONALD TRUMP KILLED BOB DUNCAN!!!!!!!!!!" he wailed. "LARRY, MARY-" he looked at Paige Drob, "Whatever the hell your name is. . YOU GOTTA HELP ME!"

  "Bitch, you're lucky I don't chug bleach down your throat," Paige said, taking a small sip of bleach that said "Spin the Prizewheel" on it.

Tiffany ran down the hall (sorry, Tiff, hope it's okay to use you in the book. Too lazy to PM you on here for permission), "Guys, I never knew Alvin & the Chimpminks was an anime! Omfg!"

"It's sarcasm. ." Paige replied, taking out a sippy cup and drinking some more bleach.

Tiffany walked away (bye, Tiff. You didn't serve to the plot, Swimmy).

"Anyways, how'd the murder happen?" Paige asked Potter.

"Oh, Donald J. Trump. You know, Lord Voldemort's cousin, the man everyone thinks is Adolf Hitler, the dad who gets boners thinking of his daughter?" Harry answered.

"Where's the crime scene?" Marry and Larry asked.

"Principal Duncan's office," Potter answered. "Now, I've gotta go back to Hogwarts. Snape will repeat what he told me yesterday, 'Stop wasting your time at Paigedro Middle School and stay in class. I'm sick of your crap, Potter' and stuff like that."

The three of them ran to the principal's office, they saw Principal Bob Duncan dead on the floor. Donald Trump pulled up his pants, they screamed despite him not even facing them [so they can't even see it]. Trump turned around. "'Ello, kids. I'm Principal Trump."

"Why the hell are you British?" Mary asked.

"MMMMkkkkayyyy, I'll stop." Principal Trump said.

"Paige, bleach. Now." Mary said, as Paige handed the bleach.

"Use promo code 'TRUMP' at www.clorox.com for 100% off on all bleach products." Mary said, walking Trump in the face with Paige's bleach.

But she didn't hit Donald. She hit Donald.

Donald Duck rubbed his wing against his cheek. "The fuck. ." he said, still rubbing his cheek.

"I didn't do it!" Mary yelled, throwing the bottle at Paige and pointing at her. "She did it!"

Donald screamed, his face turned red, and he chased Paige around the room.

Donald looked at Mary, he sat down. "How dare you hit a duck, I will call the cops on you." Donald said.

"Mr. Trump, I didn't hit Donald Duck," Mary said, sitting down in a chair too.

"Bitch, please." Trump said, his eyes closing (since you know, if he squints, he's basically closing his eyes).

"Bitch-slap," Mary said, slapping Trump.

"Miss Sue, if you slap your Principal one more damn time I will-"

Mary raised the middle finger, she got off the chair and backwardly walking to Paige, she falcon punched Donald [Duck] out the building. "Trump, we will arrest you for the murder of Bob Duncan." Larry Stu said.

"Marry Sue, Larry Stu, Paige Drob, don't arrest me. PLZ U GOYS R BUTHCES IF U ARRUST MEH-"

Melanie Martinez came in from the window, "I could write a song about this. . so needlessly complicated. Kinda like a few songs on my album." she started watching them.

The room broke, bricks fell onto the desk and carpet floor stained with Bob Duncan's blood. Donald Trump got on the plane after rope fell down, he laughed as the plane flew off.

Blood still stains when the sheets are washed. Describes periods perfectly. Thank you, Melanie Martinez. For that random quote of the chapter.

Updates coming soon to Blue-Ray DvD.