Dank Diaries ||| Paigedro Challenge ||| [OLD]

2

Larry used his rocket launchers to get on the roof, as did Mary. Paige stood there, "What the hell? I'm still down here." she said, drinking more bleach.

"Shut up!" Larry said.

"Abracadabra!" Paige yelled, pointing at Larry. "This is my 1D fan fiction, so get out of here!" as Larry vanished for the rest of the book.

Mary used her secret magic powers to summon Paige onto the roof. "Thank goodness Larry's gone. . anyways, since Trump's plane came from the north, and left north. That means they're north to the school!" Mary said. "Aren't I soooooooooooooō smart?"

"Yeah, yeah, if smart is the word you want to use," Paige said.

"Look, the yellow brick road leads to where the plane went!" Mary exclaimed, jumping off the roof without taking any damage. Paige followed, jumping down, and sprained her ankle-- and had to have Mary holding onto her for the first hour or two (you know, logic).

They ran down the road, as a carriage nearly ran Paige over. The carriage stopped. "Who the fuck tried to run me over?" Paige asked, sipping more bleach.

Her and Mary ran over to the carriage. The rider opened up the carriage, as the world's greatest ruler, Queen Emma Watson, came out the carriage in her Gryffindor uniform and he had a huge crown that was on her forehead since it was too big.

"Q-Queen Emma Watson!" Mary said in shock, her eyes wide. "Why are you here?"

"Just wanted to crash the book's party and help Mignonne stay entertained when writing this with random cameos." Emma answered. "I heard you where looking for Presidential Candidate Trump. He tried to steal my crown and threatened to go in a time machine and tell J. K. Rowling to not fight to make me Hermione in the Harry Potter films."

Paige nodded, chugging some bleach. Emma took the bleach out her hand. "You are not allowed to drink bleach, it's bad for your health and could kill you," Queen Emma scolded, as she put a straw in the bleach and drunk some of it. "Now, kids. Get in my carriage. A member of the celebrity army knows how to defeat him."

"Oh yeah? And who's that?" Paige asked.

"She's a singer, her name is-"

"Miley Cyrus, isn't it?" Paige asked.

"Nope, it's-"

"Melanie Martinez! She knows that Trump is scared of vintage dolls, and she's basically a vintage doll, so he'll get scared of her!" Mary guessed.

"This kid pays attention in school," Emma said, giving Marry a thumbs up and a gold star.

Mary used her powers to teleport to the castle, a girl walked up to Queen Emma Watson Hey," she said in a boring, emotionless voice.

"H-hello," Paige said, confused as to why this girl's a Kuu Dere and every other anime trope that ever existed.

"That, girls, is Emotionless Face." Queen Emma Watson said. "She goes by the stage name Kristen Stewart, but her birth certificate says Emotionless Face, so I call her that."

A girl crying, was drinking fountain water. "Who's that?" Mary asked.

"Ke$ha. She's still trying to get free from Sony and Dr. Whatshisname." Queen Emma Watson answered in a whisper. "But it's best not to talk about it."

"Can we just find Mel and go? I've got a Shrek play coming up. I can't get off the play's cast." Paige said, trying to get the bleach back from Queen Emma Watson.

A stick walked up to Queen Emma Watson, "Hey, Queen. Who are those?" she asked.

"Mariah Carey Carbon Copy, this is Mary Sue and Bleach Girl-"

"Paige Drob- my name is Paige Drob!" Mary interrupted.

"Whoa, Mariah Carey Carbon C-"

"It's Ariana to you, bitch." Miss Grande said. "SECURITY, WHOOP THIS GIRL'S ASS N-"

"You aren't Queen. Now get the hell out my castle. You're fired." Queen Emma Watson said. "Come on, Mary and uhhh. ."

"Paige,"

"Oh, right. . Mary and Paige, come on." Queen Emma Watson said, as they went inside the castle.

She took them to a pastel vintage baby nursery. There was a girl with rainbow hair sleeping the cradle, twenty-one year old Melanie Martinez. She got up, looking at the two kids and the Queen.

"Mel, get in your costume from the Dollhouse music video. We need a real life vintage doll to scare Trump to death." Queen Emma Watson said.

"Oh, okay, then." Melanie said, getting to the closet. "Now go outside and talk to Adele while I change. Adele's been looking for you." she said. She eventually realized what the Queen said, "It's not just a costume, it's a lifestyle!"

Time-skip, since I don't want Adele to sue me.

Melanie came out in the dollhouse music video outfit. With heart-shaped creases of lipstick and a pink sailor dress and a hair color brighter than my future, it's impossible to deny Melanie Martinez is a token pop singer used by the masses as an excuse to express themselves when they could've done it without them. Or, an antique doll. I meant to write that. Oh my god, guys, I'm so sorry. Autocorrect and a series of typos wrote that, not me!

They rode the carriage down the yellow brick road, they found the evil lair of Donald J. Trump, the Playboy Mansion.

Melanie walked down the hall Trump was in, as Mary used her plot-convient powers to turn invisible, as she blew out every candle on the wall after Melanie walked passed it.

Donald J. Trump, fainted. As Melanie magically turned into a different outfit with the help of Mary Sue.-- And stabbed Donald Trump.

After a while, Mary took all the credit for saving the earth, Melanie is still writing a song with Charlie XCX that's coming out next year (just going to remind myself that I wouldn't care either way) like her twitter said.

But then. . the ultimate challenge appeared. .

Coming out to Blue-Ray DvD soon. .